Duo, Trowa, and Quatre were in the mess hall, playing chess and relaxing, when Quatre suddenly stood up, beaming a huge smile. Seconds later, Heero came into the mess hall, with a duffel bag in his hand.
“Heero! We didn’t hear that your shuttle docked! So good to see you.”
“Quatre, Trowa, how have you been.” He sounded as stoic as always and ignored Trowa’s gaze, but Duo saw the frantic look in his eyes, dissolving when his eyes finally settled on him.
“Duo! You’re here.”
Trailing behind Heero was the stern fifth Gundam Pilot, Chang Wufei, who immediately pointed at Duo.
“Yuy here tells me you’re related to Treize Khushrenada?”
“I’m not family of him and I don’t need his name,” Duo snapped. He was sick and tired of his ties with Treize.
“Forgive me for not shaking hands,” the Chinese boy answered him, “I do not shake hands with friends of the enemies.”
“That’s enough, Chang,” Heero interrupted. “Duo’s on our side.”
“I don’t trust traitors,” Wufei immediately gave back. Duo paled.
“You’re calling me a traitor?”
“To think that I’ve carried the Gundam that’s supposed to be yours. It doesn’t become you.”
“Enough with this,” Heero cut in again. “Chang, don’t spout your accusations without foundation. It could cost you your head in these times.”
Wufei bowed. “I’ll leave for my quarters, now.” He walked away with his back ramrod straight.
“Well, at least he’s honest,” Duo sighed. Heero looked at him fiercely.
“Duo, meet me in my room, if you please?”
He didn’t need to watch the others. Trowa had picked up a magazine and Quatre was nowhere to be seen; he’d followed Wufei, maybe to catch up on news. Lucrezia was never close to the boys, certainly not in the mess hall.
Duo walked behind Heero and when they were finally in his room, a cold rectangular shaped room without daylight, he closed the door.
Heero stepped towards him and took him in his arms. “Duo...” he sighed.
“Heero.” His name tasted a bit strange. It had been “Odin” for so long.
He watched Duo intensively. “What’s the matter? I’d hoped for a warmer welcome.”
“What are we?” Duo looked at him with an intense expression. “Tell me what we are.”
“We’re soldiers.” Heero let go of him, the disappointed look on his face slowly melting away. “We fight for freedom and peace for the colonies.”
“It’s not simple as that. Earth and the colonies are shuddering violently under each attack, whether it is from the Gundams, OZ or White Fang. There are more factions than I can count. And I’m... I’m not sure what to choose.”
Heero sat down on the bed. “I thought we could leave politics for what they were, for a moment.”
Duo sat down next to him, without Heero asking him to. He took Heero’s calloused hand in his.
“I don’t know what we are. Are we soldiers, lovers or friends?”
“You know what we are.” Heero caught his lips and they kissed. Duo broke free of the kiss and shook his head.
“You’re walking a fine line.”
“Excuse me?”
“You saw Chang’s reaction. I’m never going to fit in. I’m never going to be accepted by him. I’m not a part of your Gundam group, of your collective pasts. I’ve missed so many things.”
“We didn’t grow up together. We all saw each other for the first time at the New Edwards Base. We have been in and out of communication with each other for months. I saw Quatre again with the Zero.”
“The Zero System?”
“You know, when OZ panicked about the appearance of a new Gundam. You were on the Lunar Base, we were all there at that time.”
“You mean Quatre designed that hellish thing?” Duo shivered, remembering what Zero did to him.
“You’ve been exposed to it too? What did it show you?”
Duo related shortly his experience with Trent and the images of the Zero System.
“It showed me the Deathscythe, so I suppose it wanted to show me that I had to join you. I went into the hangar with Hilde and I knew the access codes.”
“Then you are the true pilot for Deathscythe. I knew the Gundam would only grant access to its right pilot. No one knew the right codes, not even me.”
“Heero, stop it.” Duo didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know...”
“Chang has recently been into the Zero and he saw something that made him decide to join us. He’s fought all this time alone and has his own sense of integrity and justice. Think about it, Duo. If he can find the strength to join others he apparently dislikes, so can you.”
“He only joined because he thinks he can reach his goals by joining us. He wants to kill Treize, that’s one thing he made clear. And I’m next. It reminds me of myself, when I only was out for revenge on the Alliance.”
“You’re a Gundam pilot. You’re not going to do this to yourself. Come here.” Heero took Duo in his arms. “You’re strong enough on your own and I don’t care if you want to lean on me for support. Lean on me as much as you want.”
“My little sap,” Duo teased and lifted his head. “Just stay with me.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Heero simply answered and they kissed.
The first kiss was tentative, as though they were out of practice and had to taste each other again. Soon, they became frantic, feverish, and Duo pushed himself onto Heero. He wanted to be with him so bad he hurt, physically and mentally. He let go of all his frustrations and expectations and they both dissolved in a heap of bliss, to become one and the same.
---------
“Déjà vu,” Heero whispered when they both looked at the ceiling. Duo was sprawled on his chest, long chestnut hair unravelled.
“How long has it been since the Lunar Base?”
“Too long.” Heero played with the long strands of hair. “Did you miss me?”
“God, how I missed you. I thought about you every day.”
Heero kissed him and his hands moved over Duo’s left side. He felt the scars and the burn marks. “Duo.. what’s this?”
“Gundam attack.. the Siberia transport,” Duo mumbled. “I told you I survived.”
“I know.” Heero traced the outlines of the marks. “That must’ve been some pain.”
“Says you, mister “I-blow-myself-up-for-the-sake-of-the-colonies”.”
“Some topics are hard to talk about,” Heero said and looked away. Duo kissed him chastely on the cheek.
“I’m sorry, that was below the belt.” He trailed Heero’s face with more kisses, eliciting soft moans.
“How do you feel now?”
“Confused. I don’t know. What do you feel?” Duo moved to sit upright.
“Estranged,” Heero, said. “So many things have happened. I’ve piloted the Epyon.”
“Epyon? You mean the suit Zechs was on?” Duo lifted up his head so fast Heero heard muscles snap. He looked at him with big, bright blue eyes. “But that’s a troublesome suit!”
“I can handle it,” Heero answered brusquely. “I can handle it, Duo.”
“I hate that Zero System,” Duo murmured.
“Did you know Treize took back his position as head of OZ?”
“What? Oh God, no...”
“Relena was lifted from her representative duties for Romefeller. Treize has come back to take matters in his own hands. He’s fighting for Earth now, against the White Fang.”
“Zechs and Treize against each other. Do you know Zechs’ point of view?”
“No, but I’m going to find out anyway. Relena is on her way to him at the battleship Libra. Duke Dermail was killed in battle, so I assume Dorothy is going to him too.”
“Who?”
“Dorothy Catalonia, the granddaughter of Dermail. You don’t know her, but I saw her when I was at Sanq Kingdom. She is morbidly fascinated with the grandeur of war... or so she claims to be. I’m not certain of her loyalty.”
Loyalty. “You’re going after the Peacecraft girl to protect her?”
Heero caressed Duo’s cheek. “Yes. She’s the universal symbol of peace, Duo. I can’t let her get killed. It’s a promise to Zechs.”
“You’re out of your mind,” Duo yelled at him as he got off the bed. “We’re standing outside this war, do you hear me?”
“No, we’re in the middle of it. And it’s better that we’re at the centre, Duo. It’s better that we fight than innocent people.”
“And where does that leave us?” Duo sounded sad and Heero wanted him to come back to lie on top of him. Duo shook his head.
“Where does that leave us, Heero? Aren’t we supposed to get sick and tired of it, or do we have to keep fighting like brainless machines? We’re human too, Heero. And that’s the difference between you and me. You’ve had this devotion from the beginning and I... I don’t even know where I stand. I don’t even know where I stand!”
Duo shook his head again, chestnut strands flying around. “This is so useless.”
“No it’s not. Even though you missed a lot, that certainly doesn’t make you any less. Look at me Duo! Look at me. Don’t do this to yourself, or to me.”
“What do you care?” Duo slapped at Heero’s hand. “What am I, your little fuck friend you can come back to and keep around until it’s time for another fuck? You can die every time, every day, and you don’t care. Well maybe you don’t care, but I can’t stand it!”
“That’s not fair, Duo!” Heero watched with horror when Duo started to scramble frantically for his clothes.
“Don’t you get it? Life isn’t fair!” Duo was out of the room before Heero could do a thing to stop him.
----------
The hallways were cold and deserted. Peacemillion was a huge battleship and without knowing the way around, someone could get easily lost. Duo put on his wrinkled clothes. He didn’t pay attention to it. It was late at night, half the lights were dimmed and nobody was in sight.
Heaving a sigh, Duo headed for the kitchen. He was busy pouring himself a glass of milk when he heard a strange noise. Curious, he picked up his glass and went to see where the noise came from. He entered the large mess hall and immediately noticed Wufei, standing against the reeling with some kind of arm muscle device, bending it with a rhythm that spawned the repetitive noise.
“The ghosts don’t let you get any rest, Maxwell?”
“You’re up late too, Chang.”
He went on with the maddening bending of the steel. The sound would make anyone insane.
“You’re not honouring yourself by tailing behind us like a puppy dog,” Wufei said, calmly and evenly bending the device again. “You came to us looking for what, Maxwell? Revenge?”
“I had my revenge, thank you,” Duo sneered. He had to concentrate on not breaking the glass of milk. “Something the matter?”
“I didn’t even acknowledge the possible ally of an unconfirmed Gundam at the time and I’m certainly not going to acknowledge you. You have no honour in switching sides. If you have switched sides at all, that is.”
“So where’s the honour in you, then?” Duo gritted his teeth. “Why did you ally with us, after you’ve been so long on your own?”
Wufei looked at him with a piercing glaze. “Don’t talk to me about honour! It’s bad enough that you’re related to Treize!”
“Stop ragging on my ties with Treize,” Duo snarled. “I’m not related to him, I don’t need him! The way you obsess over that, sheesh, you’d almost think the man beat you once!”
When he saw the heated flame in Wufei’s eyes, he thought with a shock that maybe he wasn’t far from the truth. The Chinese warrior spun on his heels and left the mess hall. He had dropped the arm press and Duo picked it up. The sound of it had almost driven him insane. He put it on the couch. It was dark and silent and he left the hall as well.
-----------
The sickbay was dimly lit. Duo moved stealthily towards Hilde’s bed and checked her vitals. She was doing fine and she would recover completely when she’d followed the prescribed rest and medication. He touched her hand absent-mindedly. She had taken care of Deathscythe and babysat the Gundam until he had deemed it necessary to show up. What in the hell was she doing with plans of the Libra, had she taken up again her soldier career?
Heero didn’t walk that silent that he couldn’t distinct his footsteps.
“Duo. Come with me. This isn’t a place for talking. You’re about to catch a cold.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m sick,” Duo said. “You could do without one Gundam pilot.”
“No, we can’t. Come on, Duo. What happened to you? I understand that you’re frustrated and that things are not going smoothly… but why are you taking this out on me?”
Duo turned around to face him.
“I know, Heero. It wasn’t fair of me. You’re the only one believing in me. I don’t think I can go up against the others. I want to leave all this fighting behind.”
“Come.” Heero pushed gently and Duo followed suit, forcing his feet to follow Heero’s moves. They went back to his room and Heero opened the covers of the bed. Without a word, he slid under the sheets and Duo curled up against him.
“Tell me,” Heero said simply. Duo didn’t need much more encouragement. He talked until his voice was hoarse; from his experiences with the Zero System, the mistrust he felt in the crew, to Wufei not accepting him, and the uncertainties he felt himself.
“What Quatre said, is true,” Heero said when Duo fell silent. “Your past will be held against you, no matter what. You’ll have to work hard to show who you are and where your loyalty is, Duo. I can’t do that for you. The only thing I can do is show my own faith in you.”
“Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t have taken all of this out on you, Heero, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay. Come here.”
“Kiss me,” Duo answered and they kissed again. He cocked his head.
“Before I forget, Hilde confirmed Relena’s presence on the Libra before she went to the sickbay. Are you still going down there?”
“I have to,” Heero answered and put his finger under Duo’s chin. “I have no choice. Like I said, she’s the universal symbol of peace. If she were to die, we’re in a lot of trouble. Don’t break your head about it now, Duo. Let’s get some sleep.”
--------
For some reason, someone had set up a chess game in the mess hall where they were having breakfast. Duo was extremely pleased when Trowa invited him into a match. Quatre was talking to Heero, and Duo caught the words of the Zero System. He shivered. That system was good for nothing, but it had somehow given Trowa’s memory back. In the extreme stress of an upcoming battle, he wanted to try to protect his sister Catherine on the endangered colony. The system somehow cured Trowa’s amnesia, so the system had his advantages-- but Duo still broke out in cold sweat remembering the painful Zero experience, with the Grim Reaper flashing before his eyes.
Now that the space fortress Barge was gone, OZ had nowhere to go to and Romefeller as well as White Fang were hunting for the renegade soldiers, just as they used to hunt for renegade Alliance soldiers. Tensions were growing high. The pilots were ordered to rest and relax until they were needed. Quatre had discovered that the Catalonia girl was the brain behind the mobile dolls attack, and told that to the other pilots.
“We only have five pilots. White Fang has an army of Mobile Dolls, and they’re bound to outwear and deplete us.” Quatre looked at Heero, who seemed strangely absentminded.
Duo pretended he never saw it. Heero and he hadn’t discussed if or how they were to announce their relationship to the other pilots. Duo suspected Quatre being the only one to think they were involved. It spoke volumes about the density of Chang Wufei that he was convinced that Duo and Heero were only bunking together in the soldier way; he preferred the solitude of a single room.
Duo was irritated. If Heero was still thinking about Relena… maybe the girl was important for the peace process, but Duo didn’t see her that way. She’s one brave girl however, to uphold those naive ideas of ‘let’s talk and discard weapons and everything will be all right fa la la’. It doesn’t work that way. Duo suddenly touched the silver crucifix. It’d been a while since he’d done that. Sometimes it still burned, but he didn’t know why. I have to give it back to Heero anyway. For what? For their game of “Bring it back to me?” I’m not on the wrong path. I’m not!
“I’ll make my move,” he announced, to no one in particular. He was about to move his bishop, when Wufei, who had been observing the game, dashed forward, took the king and placed it before Trowa’s one. Check mate.
“Offence is the best defence,” he said. Duo looked at him with wide eyes, but the Chinese young man didn’t return the look.
Before Duo could react, an alarm sounded.
“We’ve got to get going!”
The pilots scrambled for their Gundams, buckling themselves in and opening the communication line like a well-oiled machine.
“This is it,” Heero said. He didn’t need to stress the importance of this battle. Everybody knew what was coming up.
“I’m not going to fight with you. Zechs will be there with the Epyon and I’ll have my hands full with him.”
“We won’t be in your way,” Quatre acknowledged. Duo almost squashed his controls.
No reply out of Trowa or Wufei. If the Chinese boy would’ve made some comment Duo was sure he would’ve opened his foul mouth to tell the guy what he was really thinking and that he could stuff it somewhere his precious Nataku couldn’t reach.
He didn’t open a private communication line either and didn’t know if Heero’d appreciate it or not. This was a decisive battle and he knew it. Treize had taken control over the Earth Forces when he dismissed Relena Peacecraft. Why Treize was fighting for Earth with his absurd ideas about morals and etiquette was beyond him. Duo didn’t care. He was making his own stand by fighting alongside the Gundams. Whatever Treize was thinking was out of his reach. Nataku marched in front of him and the Heavyarms came loose from its restraints. Sandrock stood where it was; Duo understood that Quatre gave way to him. He operated the controls for the walking mode and Deathscythe Hell walked towards the air lock. He peeked at the keyboard, no flashing light signalling an incoming message from Heero. No goodbyes.
“Well fuck you too!” He snarled out loud and to prevent everybody from asking whom he’d mean, he engaged the hyper jammers and Deathscyte was out of the airlock, totally masked for radar movements.
Nataku, HeavyArms and Sandrock were coming after him while Wing, in bird mode, flew ahead and straight into the stars, until he was out of sight.
“Fuck you, Heero Yuy,” Duo repeated and tried to hide his disappointment. Mobile dolls appeared on the screen, the sign for him to activate the scythe.
“Remember our plan!” Quatre yelled and Duo wasn’t sure if it was meant for him. He had memorized the orders and steered immediately towards Nataku. Why he was paired up with the guy that hated him wasn’t very clear to him. The first wave of mobile dolls hit them and Duo didn’t have any more time to contemplate.
He was sweating after hours of intense battle. The mobile dolls kept coming, but not in huge numbers as before.
“What gives, Quatre?” He yelled. “Have we defeated them?”
“The Libra’s going to fire,” Quatre said back. “Get out of the way, Duo, or you’ll be toast!”
Duo saw the heat detectors rising and cleared the way. At the same time, Nataku flew away with great speed.
“Hey Chang! Where do you think you’re going?”
“Leave him, Duo, we can handle this,” Quatre told him. “We have to stop Libra from firing. It fired a warning signal at Earth before; we can’t have it firing again!”
Duo wondered briefly, why a giant cannon like the Libra’s couldn’t fire repeatedly. Stupid fucking Tubarov and his megalomania. He gritted his teeth.
“Let’s go!”
“Movement from the Peacemillion,” Trowa’s monotonous voice came.
“What the hell?” Duo swore. The giant ship had moved towards the Libra and was in the line of fire. He flipped open another communication line.
“Howard! Hey Howard, old man! Get out of the line of fire!”
“We can’t make it, Duo,” the man calmly answered as if he was sitting next to a blazing campfire.
“The Peacemillion is too big to move that fast. We’ll get hit in the upper wing if we’re lucky.”
“Fuck!” Duo dashed forwards. “I’ll slice that thing into pieces!”
“Get away from there, Duo Maxwell!” Quatre yelled again. “We can’t afford to lose you! Get out of there!”
Duo saw the HeavyArms approaching, double gattling gun toting at him as if he was about to shoot. A devastating beam of energy rippled through space and hit the Peacemillion.
“God, no! God damn you, Howard, you fool!”
In a whim, he calculated the course of the ship and swore. Quatre and Trowa understood it too; they cleared the way. Peacemillion was on its way to collide with Libra.
Chapter 9 | Chapter 11 |