Kiss me



Title: Kiss Me
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Characters: Yami no Yuugi/Atemu & Mutou Yuugi
Prompt: # 23 Lovers
Word Count: 8.567
Rating: G
Summary: As their graduation approaches, Yuugi and his friends make plans for the future and he realizes that this could be the last time that he can be together with Atemu...

Author's Notes: Third and last in a mini-trilogy (from the prompts Teammates, Friends, Lovers). Made up surname for Atemu (taking from my old roleplaying account). Made up first name for Yuugi's mother.



-----------------------


"Yuugi, for the last time!"

"Yes, kaa-san! I'm up already!" Yuugi heaved a small sigh, even though he couldn't help but to smile fondly. His mother's habit was hard to break; she was as strict as an alarm clock, and would call him out of bed every morning. She didn't really need to, not anymore; he was looking forward to go to school every day now that he had friends. It made so much difference; Yuugi was no longer the kid who would bring games to school to amuse himself, lonely and bullied. Still smiling, he lifted the chain of the golden puzzle over his head and settled the familiar weight against his chest.

It was his last year on Domino High. It was amazing to think that he was about to graduate. The senseis didn't make it easy for the students, pelting them with tests, papers and exams, and Yuugi was sure he hadn't achieved good grades if it weren't for Atemu's help. The Egyptian passed all of his classes with flying colors, and was always at the top of the honor roll. Jounouchi, Anzu and Honda often joined their study hours in the library, and all of them went out for a drink or something to eat afterwards. It was a busy, intense and amazing life, and Yuugi enjoyed every minute of it.

The one thing he enjoyed most however, was Atemu's company. In the presence of their friends, he had all but dropped his stern behavior, and he laughed and smiled just like them. They even got him to try ice cream and hamburgers, and in turn Atemu took them out to an Egyptian restaurant where they enjoyed falafel. He sat next to Yuugi in every class and his confidence had rubbed off on Yuugi, whereas Yuugi's openness and kind nature had rubbed a little off on Atemu. Everyone was so used to seeing them together that in the rare moments one of them was alone, everybody immediately asked where the other was.

No matter what, Yuugi had never expressed his feelings for Atemu. Starting out as a crush, they had developed into full-blown love, but Yuugi kept his mouth shut. Atemu didn't talk about private things in life much despite opening up, and a topic he surely didn't talk about was his preference in a partner. Sure, he participated in discussions about the topic, and whenever Honda needed advice with his latest crush (ever since Miho rejected him, he tried out every other girl in class, not to much avail), he always listened and weighed in with his opinion…but never, never did he show what his true thoughts on the matter was. It was maddening, but despite finding new confidence, Yuugi didn't dare to ask Atemu. He was afraid to get to hear a definite rejection, a 'no', and worse of all, Atemu's disdain for finding out that his friend was regarding him as… more than a friend. Atemu called himself Yuugi's friend and they had spend time together, Atemu even sleeping over once when a thunderstorm prevented him from going home, and he had suggested once that Yuugi should come along on his summer stay in Cairo, in his homeland of Egypt. But anything more..? No, nothing, he had shown nothing in that kind of direction.

So Yuugi stayed silent about it, suffering in silence, hoping that one day his luck would turn and he would get a shot at confessing his feelings. For now, he simply enjoyed Atemu's company as much as he could, determined to make the most out of it.

As usual after breakfast Yuugi hurried outside, where his friends were waiting to walk together to school. Anzu, Honda and Jounouchi; they all waved when they saw him approaching. After the common morning greetings, the topic of their discussion was the upcoming graduation. They hadn't spoken about anything else lately.

"I still haven't received any news from New York," Anzu pouted. She had applied to several prestigious dance schools, both in Japan and in America. She had her heart set on the School of Performing Arts in New York, and was eagerly waiting for news. It made Yuugi sad, and it hurt too, that their circle of friends was going to fall apart. To pursue her dreams, Anzu would move away, and who knew what the future held for the others. Their friendship was shifting into another, new dimension. After graduation, they would go their separate ways; he couldn't expect everyone to go to the same university, could he? Besides, Yuugi didn't even know if he was going to university or not.

Jounouchi could only talk about how he was done with school and he wanted to find a job as fast as possible. He wanted his own apartment and lots of money to buy himself a car, but everyone knew that Jounouchi wanted to leave his parental house, and in particular his alcoholic father. He wanted his apartment to be a safe place for his younger sister Shizuka too, in case she should need it.

Honda wasn't fond of school either, but saw the necessity of an education in order to get a good job. He was trying to get himself into a position where he could learn and work at the same time, preferably something with mechanics or motorcycles.

Otogi also had made the choice to go to America, to get a degree in business administration. After his return, he was going to expand his Black Crown game stores into a national chain. He was very determined, just like Anzu he definitely knew what kind of direction he was going to take his life in.

Yuugi wasn't so sure about anything. He wanted to go to university, simply because Atemu was going. The Egyptian had been very clear about it and with his grades, Domino University would be more than pleased to welcome him. Yuugi's grades were okay, but he wasn't sure if university was truly his goal in life. His grandfather was getting older and relied more and more on Yuugi to help out in the store. Mutou Sugoroku didn't expect Yuugi to follow in his footsteps, he allowed his grandson to be free in his choice of education. Yuugi did like the Game shop and working, but on the other hand he couldn't imagine himself doing this until his own retirement. And it wasn't like he had all the time in the world to keep thinking about it…

"That's a shame," Jounouchi said. "When will you think you'll hear something?"

"I was hoping to be accepted by now," Anzu said, sounding worried. "Would it come across as incredibly rude if I called or e-mailed them?"

"I don't think that's rude," Honda said as Yuugi was listening. "You need time to prepare in case you're accepted, they can't let you know at just the last minute."

They kept talking about Anzu's predicament until they reached the school. Yuugi was happy to go into the classroom; it would take just another few minutes for Atemu to arrive. The Egyptian was often early, so he could talk to him a little before class started. Yuugi was busy laying out his books, when he noticed Atemu taking his place.

"Good morning, Atemu-kun," he said.

"Good morning, Yuugi." Atemu never used honorifics, unless he was talking to the sensei. His smile was warm and as always, Yuugi lost himself in that confident yet kind smile. How he wished he had enough courage to simply ask Atemu… he knew he could talk to him about anything, but he was too nervous to bring this particular subject up. It was… just too personal.

The sensei entered the classroom so their conversation was cut short. Of course, the sensei talked about the last few weeks of school, about more tests and projects and exams, and how preparation was good for everything. Every student had heard it a million times before and refrained from groaning, though everyone looked annoyed and defeated at the thought of even more tests. Just a few more weeks, Yuugi told himself, then he had his diploma and he could enjoy his summer vacation. His mother and grandfather had promised him a trip to Hokkaido, and he was looking forward to it. He'd never been outside of Domino City much, and he hoped even more that Atemu would be able to accompany them. Not that there was much chance, as Yuugi assumed he would return to his homeland for the summer, just like the previous years.

At recess, the entire gang grouped together for lunch at their standard table at the back of the cafeteria. Atemu had sat there alone when he had arrived at Domino High, now it was the favorite spot of the group. Yuugi sat next to Atemu and Anzu sat to Atemu's other side, so she was sitting opposite of Miho or any other friend that would join occasionally. Jounouchi and Honda sat across the table, facing Yuugi and Atemu. Otogi took different classes and when he was around, he would pull up a chair and sit at the head of the table. With bentos open and chopsticks digging into the food, they started talking about how to celebrate their graduation.

"We should throw a party," Jounouchi was quick to suggest.

"I'm sure the entire class wants to throw a party," Anzu said. "Which one will we go to?"

"Or maybe we should pool all our resources together and throw one big, huge, kick ass party?"

"I doubt that everyone would like to be at the same party! So many people!"

"Where would we hold a party? And what about the costs?"

"My father wants to hold a graduation party," Atemu said, his voice a little higher as if he was surprised himself. The rest of the gang looked at him incredulously.

"Say what?" Jounouchi said. Atemu's father was a well-known diplomat of cultural affairs and he didn't seem like a guy to just throw a party.

"A graduation party," Atemu repeated. "At the penthouse, and I can invite everyone I want. He just wants to... do something special for me, I guess."

"That would be nice," Anzu said. "Then we have at least Atemu-san's party to go!"

Yuugi was sure he wasn't the only one who picked up on Atemu's slight hesitation, but no one of the group paid overly attention to it. He knew Atemu was grateful as he never discussed private matters; for his father to step out of his comfort zone was quite a change.

"All right, so one party down, and the next one we can host ourselves - like at Yuugi's Game Shop?" Jounouchi grinned.

"Hey! My grandfather would get a heart attack from all the loud noise!"


The last day of school had arrived. Yuugi couldn't believe he only had one more exam to go! Just a few more hours, and then… no more exams for a long time! He knew he'd done well enough to obtain his diploma, so the pressure was off; his grades were good enough for him to graduate. That brought up a load of another, excited feelings, as every student of his class had been talking about graduation parties. And he was invited to the one Atemu's father was throwing. It wasn't going to be a standard party, if only for the location: their penthouse! Yuugi was looking forward to it, but Jounouchi had his doubts, not used to such a classy environment.

As Yuugi stepped out of his bedroom, his mother was waiting for him. She pulled him into a massive mother-bear-like hug before he could protest.

"My little Yuugi-kun, graduating!" Mutou Kyoko said, while ruffling his hair affectionately.

"Kaa-san, you're embarrassing me," Yuugi blushed, but in reality he didn't mind it at all. His family was proud of him, and that was all that mattered.

"We have to talk about your future soon," she said. "You can't wait too long if you want to enroll at university, Yuugi."

"I know," Yuugi said, "but my brain is fried from all the tests and exams."

"I know you want to go on holiday," she nodded, dropping her hands to adjust the collar of his school uniform, "but give it some thought, all right? I don't like to wait until the last moment."

"All right, kaa-san." Yuugi went downstairs for his breakfast. His mother was right, of course. He was at an important point in his life, and he had to make a decision soon. University or a job? Working at the Game Shop? What did the future hold for him? He felt optimistic, but he knew he would feel even happier if he knew Atemu was going to be in his future. It was ironic to think that the Egyptian didn't even know how important he was to Yuugi; he still hadn't dared to tell him. Yuugi took a deep breath before he breezed into the kitchen. He had to tell Atemu soon, or else... he would risk losing him forever.


A few days later, Yuugi found himself enjoying his time off. Until the official graduation ceremony, he had free time to spend and he helped out his grandfather in the Game Shop. It was such a relief to not be buried in books and memorizing text after text. He knew it was only temporary; soon enough he had to decide whether to go to college, or what kind of job he wanted… The next day, Yuugi couldn't help smiling when he saw the official invitation. Perhaps only Akunamukanon Sa-neb-Merire would bother to send his son's friends invitations to a graduation party, Yuugi thought. Everyone else had used their cell phone and other social media to get the word out. The heavy paper had a typical, distinct scent to it and when he took it out of the envelope he read it and realized that Atemu's father had organized a far more social gathering than 'just' a graduation party. No wonder Jounouchi would feel out of place; Yuugi was starting to feel the same. He was a little intimidated by Akunamukanon Sa-neb-Merire, a majestic, tall man who dealt with diplomats and ministers and who was responsible for the National Museum exhibits, strengthening the cultural bond between Japan and Egypt.

"I thought that might be the invitation," Yuugi's mother clasped her hands together. She was thrilled for Yuugi to be invited in such a high circle. She told him about the rumors floating around Domino City about the party; Yuugi hadn't realized it was going to be such an important event. Jounouchi's and his idea of a graduation party had been lots of food and drink, loud music and all their friends and classmates together. He had the distinct feeling that this party wasn't going to be anything like that.

"You and jii-chan are also invited, kaa-san." Yuugi offered the invitation to her. She took the piece of paper and studied it attentively. Her smile lit up and then suddenly evaporated.

"What is it, kaa-san?"

"I have nothing to wear!" She cried out. Grandfather, who just walked around the corner, was startled by her cry and his eyes went wide when she ran up the stairs to check her wardrobe.

"Nothing to wear?" He asked.

"For the party." Yuugi showed him the invitation. "It sounds to me like it's going to be more like a diplomat party than… well, you know…"

"I see. Well, you can't deny the man's gesture. He wants to do something for his son, and why not combine it with another social event? And if you don't like it, you can always hold one here at home."

"Really, jii-chan?"

"Really. But do warn me if you decide to throw one; you youngsters are so loud!"


Wow. It was Yuugi's first thought when he entered the penthouse. He was simply flabbergasted; Atemu's father had invited the entire class of his son and they mixed quite well with the other guests, ranging from upper-class diplomats to politically engaged officials. Everyone blended into a nice, informal party with a rich buffet and a band that played classical and modern music. Yuugi was impressed with the dimensions and the interior decoration of the huge penthouse. One could easily rollerblade inside and not even hit a wall for a long time.

He spotted Atemu, dressed regally in a beautiful, midnight dark suit. He was wearing more jewelry besides the golden ankh-shaped earrings; rings on his fingers, a golden collar and some gold on his wrists, whenever his pristine white shirt pulled up a little. Yuugi was insanely jealous, and felt sad at the same time. If there was one opportunity when it was rubbed into his face that Atemu was from an entire different world, this was it. He mingled with the guests, moving around and smiling, keeping up polite talks, interested conversation and sparking discussions. Yuugi hoped he was able to keep his face in the same neutral expression as he was trying to keep it now, and not gushing like a smitten teenager. He looked around for his friends: Jounouchi was at the buffet, having lost his initial shyness; Anzu, talking to a few girls who seemed to admire her ambitions in dancing and Otogi and Honda amusing themselves with a group of interested investors.

Yuugi's mother and grandfather were also having a good time, much to Yuugi's relief. He was hoping that he could talk to Atemu before the party was over. He walked over to Jounouchi who was piling up on his third plate. Yuugi tried to eat something, despite his stomach turning and tumbling.

"This is the best food I've ever had," Jounouchi said, happily stuffing his face. Yuugi couldn't help but chuckle, enjoying that his best friend had such a good time. Next to Jounouchi was his sister Shizuka, all recovered from her intensive eye surgery, and she was smiling at Yuugi. He was about to say something when he was interrupted by a ringing sound - someone was ticking with a utensil against a glass, calling for the people's attention. The band had already stopped playing and everybody turned their head into the direction of the sound: Akunamukanon Sa-neb-Merire. He put the glass and the small spoon to the side, and put his hand on his son's shoulder, standing next to him.

"My dear friends and family, I am so glad that my son has graduated," he said, his deep voice easily reaching every corner of the room. "I am very happy to celebrate with his friends" - a nod to Yuugi and the gang - "and with family." He cleared his throat. "I would like to use this opportunity to announce that I have accepted a position in New York," he continued, "as to give my son freedom to study in the United States."

"Wow, New York," Anzu said. "I wish I got accepted there," she said wistfully, still not having heard back from the dance academy she applied to.

"The United States, they have giant steaks!" Jounouchi said, water running in his mouth.

Yuugi felt like someone punched him in the stomach. All he could do was to stare at Atemu, who was smiling, albeit strained. The rest of the audience started clapping, and surrounded Akunamukanon to congratulate him with his new position. Yuugi felt heartbroken. People were congratulating Atemu as well, but couldn't they see the strained smile on his face? His eyes flashing an angry red instead of joy, and the tense muscles around his lips, forced to hold up his smile?

Yuugi didn't know what to do. He wanted to talk to Atemu as soon as possible, but the other was out of reach by the people crowding him and his father. He couldn't simply talk to Anzu or Jounouchi either - they weren't aware of his feelings for Atemu, and he didn't want to create an awkward scene. He had no other choice but to bide his time.

When the people had dispersed a little and the party continued, Yuugi decided to search Atemu out. His friends were all over the place and he walked around, but he couldn't find the Egyptian. He saw his mother and grandfather, Jounouchi several times, Anzu and Honda and Otogi... but where was Atemu? Yuugi decided to ask one of the servants and managed to speak up to a young girl, holding a tray with flutes of champagne.

"Do you know where Atemu-kun is?"

"I saw him in the hallway," the girl answered hurriedly. He thanked her and went to the hallway, but all the doors were closed. He suddenly got the notion that Atemu might have retreated to his bedroom, to process his father's announcement; it had come to him as a surprise as much as to the guests.

"I'm looking for Atemu-kun's room," he asked another servant, who was helpful enough to explain to him that the second last door on the right was the one he needed. Yuugi thanked her and walked down the hallway, not exactly sure about what he was doing. Was he sure he could approach Atemu this way? He was upset, he knew it. And how was he, Yuugi, to explain that he noticed? Gomen, Atemu-kun, but I'm in love with you, and I notice every single change in your face, because I memorized every line, every expression and I can just tell when you're upset.

He was at the door and he knocked. No answer. He knocked again, and still no answer. Carefully, Yuugi opened the door and peeked inside. The room was huge, the entire attic of the Game Shop building fit in here twice, if not thrice! Yuugi walked in slowly, not wanting to smudge the lush carpet. He made his way over to Atemu, standing in front of the large window, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his entire posture rigid.

"Atemu-kun," Yuugi said, his voice soft as not to startle the other. Atemu kept staring out of the window, not showing any sign that he was surprised.

"He does this every time," Atemu said. "He decides and expects me to trudge along!"

Yuugi had never seen Atemu upset like this, and it broke his heart.

"Your father," he simply said.

"Yes." Atemu frowned, still staring outside. The window mirrored his deep frown and the harsh lines around his eyes and mouth. He was angry, sad and frustrated at the same time.

"It must be hard, as son of a diplomat," Yuugi said. "You told me before that you have lived in so many places, and that you never got to settle in right, because of your father's constant relocation."

"I want him to be happy. My father is good at what he does, and he enjoys his work." Atemu heaved a sigh. "After my mother passed, my father never looked around for any other woman. I never accused him of it, but I think he thought it was easier getting married to his work than to another woman."

"Your father had a lot of grief," Yuugi said, goodheartedly. "He probably thought he would never find another woman like your mother."

"I guess." Atemu's entire posture was tense. Yuugi felt like he was talking to a wall. A huge wall. "I wish he had remarried."

"I know you'd love to have a mother."

"Not for me." His voice was a little hesitant, but became stronger again. "A wife would have held him into one place. He would not have dragged me all over the world and expected me to be happy about it."

Yuugi nodded, they had talked about this before. "It hasn't been easy for you either, Atemu-kun. Have you ever told your father about how you felt?"

Atemu snorted. "You probably think I am a coward," he said. "But I did not dare to. I saw how happy he was with his work, with his life, and... he probably thought I was happy too. I did not dare to disturb his perfect picture."

"That's not what a coward would do," Yuugi shook his head. "You made a sacrifice, a noble sacrifice. You put your father's happiness before your own."

"And look what it has brought me," Atemu said harshly. He kept staring out of the window, as if he could break the glass just by looking at it. "Now that I finally found a place I would like to stay, where I want to be, he just picks up and wants to leave again!"

A surge of happiness went through Yuugi. Atemu wanted to stay here! He immediately realized the predicament. As soon as Akunamukanon Sa-neb-Merire picked up his stuff, Atemu would have to follow his father and Yuugi was going to lose the love of his life, without even having told him…

"I'm sure there's a solution," he finally offered, without knowing if Atemu wanted to be consoled or not. His eyes were cold and harsh, and his lips were turned into a disappointed - and disapproving - frown. Yuugi could see the frustration build up in him, angry and intense. "We'll find a solution," he continued, aware that he was using 'we', but Atemu didn't comment or correct.

"Come back to the party, Atemu-kun," he said and he dared to put his hand on his shoulder. Atemu finally nodded, but his posture was still rigid. He didn't object to Yuugi touching him, but Yuugi withdrew his hand as to not make things awkward. They left Atemu's room and returned to the party, music and laughter drifting towards them in the hallway.


Jounouchi was the first one to say goodbye. It was getting late and he didn't want Shizuka to walk the streets alone at this hour, so he was going to take her home. Anzu left a little later with her parents, as did Yuugi's mother and grandfather. Quite a few other guests had left, and the party was winding down. Yuugi stayed a little longer, enjoying Atemu's company and they were talking, standing in the corner of the penthouse living room. Slightly rebellious, Atemu had been drinking beverages with alcohol in it; he was far from being drunk, but he wasn't exactly sober either.

"I am still pissed," he said, and Yuugi thought it was the closest to a curse word he'd heard Atemu ever say. "He doesn't even ask my opinion. No, just accept another position, pick up and leave, and who cares what his son thinks? His son who will follow like a good, obedient sheep?"

"Your father doesn't know how you're feeling," Yuugi tried to console him. "The both of you should have a good talk together, a father-son talk."

"Easier said than done," Atemu snorted. "You know him. My father does not take objection lightly, and he is convinced that he is doing all of this for the greater good, and in my best interests."

"He has your interests at heart, Atemu-kun," Yuugi said. "He wants you to study at the best universities the United States have to offer."

"He wants, he wants..! It is not what I want!"

"And what is it you want?"

"I want to stay in one place for a longer time." Atemu looked downtrodden. "I never feel at home. I never feel like… there is a place where I belong. I like it here. I like the culture, the food, the people, the school. I want to go to university and have structure in my life."

"You should tell your father," Yuugi said encouragingly. "If he knows how you feel about all of this…"

"In this family, we do not do 'feelings'," Atemu said rather curtly. Yuugi remained silent. He'd never seen Atemu this emotional before, and he didn't know if it was because of his alcohol intake or because of the earlier events. All he knew was that Atemu was pretty distressed at his father right now, and he couldn't really blame him. His friend said something, and Yuugi scooted closer to overhear him.

"What?"

"Why did you come after me?"

"W-what?" Yuugi blushed, turning tomato-red.

"Just after my father's announcement, when I stormed off to my room." Atemu sipped the last of his drink and put the glass away. "You came after me to talk me back into joining the party again."

"Oh," Yuugi said and whipped up a reassuring smile. "I noticed you were upset. I just… wanted to make sure that you were all right."

Atemu turned his head towards him, staring him straight in the eyes. Yuugi's breath hitched. "Not many would do that," he said. "Most would just leave me alone."

"I don't like seeing people in pain." Yuugi was captivated by the crimson red hue of Atemu's eyes. His stare wasn't stern or with the light arrogance as usual, but more open and friendly. Yuugi knew how different Atemu could be between his friends or with strangers; it was hard to gain his trust and his loyalty. What could he expect more of someone who had been all around the world, never too long in one place to build up solid friendships? He felt how Atemu trusted him, and he was glad - he wanted to offer comfort to his friend, and buried his own feelings deep down.

"You are too kind." Atemu raised his hand and tapped Yuugi on the nose. "Have you never been afraid of that kindness being abused?"

"No, never." Yuugi was totally honest. He believed in second chances, he believed in giving the benefit of the doubt. He wasn't that naïve to believe that everyone in the world was acting out of the same kindness, and he didn't close his eyes for the evil and bad things that existed around him. Still… his grandfather had raised him that way, and Yuugi held his beliefs up high.

"Too kind," Atemu mumbled as he reclined into the plush upholstery of the couch, "too gentle."

Yuugi didn't have an answer to that, so he continued to smile, reveling in the small touch of Atemu's finger on his nose. He leaned a little more into the other, and Atemu tilted his head.

"Thank you nonetheless," he said, showing Yuugi a soft smile as he was pursing his lips, and the next second he was so close to Yuugi that his lips could touch his, and they did… frozen in the moment, Yuugi could only process that he was being kissed, and it took him precious seconds to realize that he could return the kiss. It was so out of the blue, so strange all of the sudden, that he wasted valuable time to respond; this was all he had dreamed of, and now that it was happening… Yuugi parted his lips and reveled in the moment.

My first kiss..! It was his only thought, repeated in his mind like a mantra. A kiss from his friend, who he loved more than a friend, it was everything he had ever hoped for, and more… he didn't care if somebody saw them, he didn't care if people were shocked, he couldn't care less about anything anymore. Atemu was kissing him and it was such a delicious kiss, warm and lovingly, predatory and ferociously, and so much more… he had fantasized about kissing Atemu, and his body tensed up yet relaxed, a myriad of emotions running through him.

It was over all too soon. Atemu's lips left his own, and he mourned the loss; it felt like a cold gust of wind after all the intense heat. Yuugi looked at the Egyptian, holding his breath. Nothing else happened. Atemu's eyes were a little clouded and he looked confused and unfocused. Then he brought up his hand, raking through his hair as he licked his lips. Turning his gaze back to Yuugi, he smiled a little haplessly, and said: "I think I need to lie down."

"It's getting late," Yuugi managed to say, but his voice sounded like a squeaky bird. Atemu only nodded, and shifted away from him. That movement was killing to Yuugi. He might as well have been punched in the face. A strong wave of disappointment went through him, so strong that he almost wanted to throw up. "You had a lot to drink. Maybe you should go to bed, yes."

"Yes, maybe I should." Atemu moved to get up, a little unsteady, but Yuugi didn't offer to help him. Tears were burning in the corner of his eyes, and he struggled so hard to not cry right here and right now. He wasn't going to cry in the penthouse of the Sa-neb-Merires in front of other party guests. The band was still playing, but the caterers were discreetly removing the rest of the buffet before the food spoiled; there were so little guests left.

"I should be going too," Yuugi said and got up, turning to Atemu. He looked at him, hope shimmering in his eyes. One more chance. Ask me to stay. Tell me to stay. Tell me everything.

"All right. I will see you at the graduation ceremony." His words came out slightly slurred, and Yuugi knew he wasn't going to hear what he wanted to hear. With his last strength, he showed Atemu a warm smile and wished him a good night. As he watched his retreating back, Yuugi swallowed and swallowed, if only to hold back his tears. He made it out of the penthouse and back home safely, relieved that his mother and grandfather had already gone to bed. At this moment, he welcomed the silence as he rolled into bed, smothering his tears with his pillow.


As he feared, the party was the topic of conversation the next morning. Yuugi didn't want to talk about it, his feelings raw and still hurt. All he could think of was the kiss, that lovely kiss, that wonderful delicious kiss, only to be reminded that it was never going to happen. He didn't want to settle for one half-drunken kiss, he wanted Atemu to consciously, passionately and seriously kiss him, with the promise of sharing their lives, together, forever. Maybe he was too kind, too gentle, too silly to believe something like that could happen to him; but that was all he asked for. Why was it so hard? Why was life so difficult?

"Yuugi, what's wrong?" his mother asked. She had noticed his lack of energy and enthusiasm at the breakfast table, and he had barely commented on her words. Yuugi smiled at her, but he barely succeeded.

"Nothing, kaa-san. I'm glad you had such a good time at the party!"

She looked at him quizzically. "You haven't touched your food."

Yuugi stared at his plate. His scrambled eggs had gone stone cold. "Oh! I'm sorry, kaa-san."

"Yuugi, would you mind telling me what's going on?"

He dropped the fork right in the middle of his eggs. "Nothing!"

His mother shook her head. "I can tell there's something wrong. Did something happen at the party after we've left? You looked like you had such a good time, and…"

"Leave me alone, kaa-san!" Yuugi got up so quickly that his chair shoved backwards and toppled over. He felt the shame of his outburst rise to his cheeks, he was never rude to his mother, but right now, he just… couldn't deal with it anymore. The kiss that had meant nothing meant everything to him, and now that all hope was gone… how could his mother help him? He was mature enough to deal with this on his own, he had to be!

"But Yuugi-kun…"

"I want to be alone!" He dashed out of the kitchen and ran upstairs, taking two steps at the same time as he raced back to his room. He threw himself on his bed after shutting the door with a loud bang and punched his pillow. He wanted to cry, but the tears didn't come. Instead, his voice hitched and he gasped for air, as if suffering a panic attack. His body trembled and he felt cold and hot at the same time. After a few minutes, the anxiety and stress wore off and Yuugi breathed evenly again. He would apologize for his behavior to his mother later, and he was grateful that she hadn't followed him. He wasn't up for conversation, not right now. Yuugi turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. This was it. He had to give in and accept that he had lost, hadn't he? What was the saying again: "better to have lost at love, than never to have loved at all?".

It left a bitter taste in his mouth. If he had spoken up, he might have learned if Atemu returned his feelings. He had never dared to, out of fear to lose his friend. And now he was going to lose him anyway, and he would never know if… the anger he felt was towards himself, for lacking the courage and strength to take matters into his own hands. Atemu was right, he was too kind and too gentle. If only, if only he had dared to ask! To speak up his mind..! Yuugi tried to break his thoughts from this vicious cycle, but he couldn't help himself. The graduation ceremony was only two days away, and time was literally running out. A bright flicker caught his eye and he noticed it was the golden puzzle, basking in the early morning light. He hadn't worn it since the party; his very special puzzle that took him so long to solve. He had wished for friends upon completion and he grimaced at the memory. He'd been granted his friends, only for them to be taken away from him. With surprising strength, he yanked the puzzle from his desk and tossed it into the corner. The object hit the wall, and the front piece popped out of its place.

Upset, Yuugi didn't know what to do, and remained in his room for hours, brooding and sullen.


He strained his smile a little, but Yuugi managed to act mostly like himself when his diploma was handed to him. The graduation ceremony was a special moment and he didn't want to ruin it for other people; so he smiled and laughed, and shook hands and congratulated his friends and fellow classmates. His peers were overjoyed, exchanging kisses and congratulations and celebrating this milestone in their life. He kissed Anzu on the cheeks, who was totally happy; she had heard back from the School of Performing Arts and she was invited to New York for an audition. She was literally dancing and twirling all around Yuugi and he was happy for her while his own heart grew sadder. Atemu soon gone, Anzu soon gone… how was he supposed to be holding himself up?

Jounouchi was swatting Honda over the head with his diploma, wrinkling the paper. Shizuka admonished him to be careful, but he grinned like a loon and made funny faces. She was his only family member to attend the ceremony; her support for her brother was unconditional.

Ironically enough, Atemu was standing next to him. Yuugi felt so familiar and so… accepted in his company, that it almost brought him to tears again. He loved him so much, and he wanted to hold is hand, to be together… he wanted to be with Atemu and the Egyptian was standing next to him, as if he belonged there. Fellow classmates were talking to him and he partook in the conversation as usual; politely, yet distant. He hadn't spoken much to Yuugi either, and hadn't mentioned anything about the night of the party.

Yuugi didn't feel like celebrating anymore. He wanted to sneak away and waited for the right moment that everyone was occupied safe for him. When Jounouchi's and Shizuka's attention were diverted by Honda trying to rip up Jounouchi's diploma, he seized the opportunity to leave. He needed a bit of fresh air, and he walked past the other attendants, leaving the crowd behind him. Too many people, too much noise. Nobody paid any attention to him as he walked out of the building and he took a deep breath, inhaling the clean air.

The schoolyard was pretty large and empty in the early evening. Yuugi sought out one of the benches and sat down. How many of his footsteps lied around here? Years ago, he had walked around here alone, with games in his backpack to entertain himself. He made himself as invisible as possible, afraid of the bullies and his classmates who picked on him. His shy footsteps had turned into a confident stride when he had met his friends, when he had won that CapMon tournament, when he was introduced to Atemu… and now here he was, all brooding and downtrodden, and it didn't feel right. If only he had acted upon his emotions, and now it was too late. Well, there wasn't much he could do about it now, couldn't he? Apart from smiling when his friends left for the United States and being a support to the others. They were his friends and he would continue to support and cheer for them, even if they were at the other side of the world. And in the meantime, he would concentrate on working at the Game Shop and help his grandfather out… yeah, that was probably the best thing to do. He heaved a deep sigh.

The rustling of fabric next to him startled Yuugi out of his thoughts. He looked up, and was even more startled to see Atemu coming to sit next to him.

"My apologies," he said, voice low, "I did not want to disturb you."

"It's all right." Yuugi cast his eyes down.

"It is the first time I see you without your puzzle," Atemu said. "How come you are not wearing it today?"

"I didn't feel it was the right moment for it," Yuugi answered truthfully. It was still lying in the corner of his bedroom, he hadn't even bothered to put the front piece back together again. He folded his hands together and stared in front of him. He couldn't bear to look Atemu in the eyes. He's probably going to tell me when he's going to leave and I have to say "Good luck, so long, goodbye."

A moment of silence. It didn't feel uncomfortable, yet a little bit awkward. Yuugi usually took the lead in a conversation, chatting about anything that came up in his mind, but this time he wasn't talking. The both of them were waiting for the other to start; but deep down Yuugi knew they were both waiting for Atemu to start. It took him at least five minutes.

"I need to offer you my sincerest apologies," he said.

"Why?" Yuugi was genuinely surprised, not knowing what the other was talking about.

"At the party. I had a little bit too much to drink, and…"

"Oh, it's all right. I have seen tipsy people before," Yuugi said, thinking back on how his mother had been indulging herself a few glasses of red wine, completely underestimating the alcohol. He never wanted to hear her singing and giggling like a schoolgirl again.

"No, that is not it." He hesitated. "I… know I did something that evening that I should not have done. I accept your anger Yuugi, for I acted rashly and uncontrolled."

"I…" Yuugi racked his brain, "I really don't know what you're talking about."

Atemu looked at him, almost pained. "I kissed you," he said. "I remember it quite well, Yuugi. Is that not why you are upset with me? At the ceremony you looked like you wanted to be everywhere but next to me, I sensed your… discomfort. It is my fault."

Actually, Yuugi wanted to laugh, preferably hysterically. He'd been thinking all that time that he was covering up his own anguish so well, and Atemu had read him perfectly, without any trouble at all! He shook his head.

"I am a coward," Atemu continued. "All I could do was whine and moan about my father's decision, while I have taken advantage of you. You have always been so kind, you have always been there to listen to me. I should have called you…"

"It's all right," Yuugi said. "Really. You shouldn't have worried."

Another silence. "Are you not disgusted?"

"No." Yuugi straightened his shoulders. He didn't have anything to lose. Turning around so he could face Atemu, he stared at the Egyptian's face. He could see remorse, curiosity and slight confusion there. "I think we've both been wrestling with certain emotions," he said. "Don't you think so?"

"I think so," Atemu said, but he didn't sound convinced. Yuugi assumed that he wasn't really sure what he was talking about, so he decided to take the next step. If he had to suffer Atemu's wrath, so be it. He reached for Atemu's hand and took it in his. As the other didn't pull away immediately, it encouraged Yuugi to gently stroke his fingers.

"I care for you," he said. "More than just a friend. You're so strong and so proud and so beautiful."

As Atemu didn't answer, but didn't pull away either, Yuugi went on: "I wasn't disgusted by your kiss. I was hoping for you to kiss me, I've dreamed about it for so long. When it happened, I was disappointed, as I figured you were too much buzzed by the alcohol to actually… you know, put any deeper meaning into it."

"I am sorry," Atemu said. He squeezed Yuugi's hand lightly. "It should have been a proper kiss. You deserve that, and so much more."

This was getting awkward. Another moment of silence, and Yuugi wondered how he could muster up enough strength to ask the most important question.

"When are you going to leave?" His voice was shrill. He forced himself to keep looking at Atemu, even though he feared the answer. The Egyptian raised his hand and this time, he touched Yuugi's face, moving up a little to tuck a wayward golden bang behind his ear.

"I am not going to leave."

"You're not..?"

"No."

"Your father…"

"He was pretty angry with me," Atemu said. "And he still is. You might have noticed that he was not attending the ceremony."

"I didn't see him in the audience, no," Yuugi said. "I'm so sorry, Atemu-kun."

"There is no reason to. I think he will come around. We still have a few more days to discuss the change in plans. Basically, I told him that I wanted to stay here, continue my education, and live on my own. I refused to go with him, to pack up and just leave - and like I told you before, he did not take my objections lightly."

"Your father is such a stern man."

"He certainly is. But Yuugi, my reason to stay did not depend solely on my choice of education. I… after that kiss, I… I just had to know if you were disgusted with me. I do not want to lose you as a friend."

"You haven't lost me," Yuugi said. "Please understand that…" How could he express it in words? What more could he say and how could he say it, without being misunderstood? He brought up their tangled hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on Atemu's fingers. "Please understand that I love you," he whispered hoarsely and pressed another kiss on those long, slender fingers.

After a moment, Atemu withdrew his fingers. Yuugi let him go. It wasn't of any use to pressure the other, he couldn't force Atemu into loving him. If the feelings weren't mutual, he had to cut his loss and move on with life, no matter how hard it was. He drew a shaky breath. Atemu moved his other hand and tilted Yuugi's chin, thumb gently rubbing his skin.

"That was my main reason to stay," he said. "I was not sure, Yuugi… I am even more of a coward than I originally thought. I did not dare to speak up, afraid I was going to hurt you, afraid I was going to lose you. I finally found a circle of friends, I felt accepted and welcome, and I did not want to risk it for a thing. I told my father that he could go anywhere in the world, but I was not going, not without you. Not without knowing if you felt something for me."

"Felt something for you?" Yuugi broke out in a happy laugh at the same moment that he started to cry. "You silly fool, I love you so much! I didn't dare to ask you because I was afraid too! We've both been terribly silly!"

"I am sorry, I am so sorry," Atemu said. "It is not like I have much experience with this, you know…"

"Me neither," Yuugi hiccupped. He fumbled around for a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. An incredible weight had been lifted off of him, and he laughed and cried at the same time. It confused Atemu, but Yuugi reassured him that he was happy and glad, and that the tears weren't from sorrow.

"I really did not want to cause you any grief," Atemu said. This time he brought Yuugi's fingers to his lips. "Had I known…"

"Had we both known," Yuugi corrected him, albeit with a smile, "then we wouldn't have shed tears or lived in insecurity. We better put that behind us now and just… enjoy what we have, right?"

"Right." Atemu sounded relieved too, and he scooted closer to Yuugi and wrapped his arm around him. Happily, Yuugi leaned with his head on the Egyptian's shoulder.

"What about your father?" He asked.

"What about your family?"

"Jii-chan and kaa-san won't mind much who I come home with. I mean, whether it's a boy or a girl… that won't make much difference to them. You'll always be welcome in our home."

"I do not think my father will accept it as easily, I am afraid." Atemu looked up at the stars in the sky. "I do not blame him. He was raised with strict rules and firm beliefs and everything that deviates from it, will be hard to deal with. I do hope that he will accept it - that his son is growing up and makes his own choices."

"Whatever will happen, I'll be by your side," Yuugi promised him.

"I know." Atemu hugged him close. "I want you by my side."

"Are we going back to the ceremony? People might wonder where we are."

"Let them wonder. I would rather be with you. We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"How about trying for a real kiss?"

"A real kiss it is."


End

 

Teammates | Friends |