"Kaa-san? Tadaima!"
Mutou Yuugi kicked off his shoes and put on his house slippers before ascending the stairs. He usually went to greet Atemu first; the former Pharaoh was his soul mate, his everything, the man he loved so dearly, but as of late, he wanted to see his mother before anyone else. Since a few months, Mutou Yusuke's health had been declining rapidly and it worried the entire family. Yusuke suddenly started to tire quickly and often had dizzy spells. When she started to forget and misplace a lot of things, she had taken a step back from her charity and volunteer work. In the last couple of weeks, she seemed disorientated and confused, confining herself to her bedroom. Doctor Watanabe had performed extensive tests, but so far all the results were inconclusive.
"I'm right here, Yuugi-kun," she said, standing in the door opening of her bedroom. "How was school today?"
"Kaa-san, I work for Kaiba-kun now," Yuugi said, hoping to jog her memory with his gentle reminder, but she stared at him blankly. He changed the subject. "Did Watanabe-sama call?"
"Yes, his son did. I didn't know he was going to take over his father's practice..?"
Doctor Watanabe had been the Mutou family's physician until his retirement and his son, just as kind and compassionate, had followed in his footsteps for almost a decade ago.
"Kaa-san, did he say anything about the latest results?"
She hid a smile behind her hand. "You're so impatient, Yuugi-kun. Unfortunately, everything came back negative. They can't find what's wrong with me."
"We won't rest until we figure it out," Yuugi said. "Don't worry, kaa-san."
"I know," she said. "Go find your Pharaoh. He was grumbling about Kazuo-kun's bad report card."
Yuugi was surprised to hear his mother refer to Atemu as 'Pharaoh', let alone 'your Pharaoh'. She had always refused to believe Atemu's origins, what with the Sennen Puzzle, Duel Monsters, Memory World and all, but she couldn't deny his presence, of course. Yusuke simply had accepted him as the partner of her son, welcoming him into her life with love and care. She never commented on it, not even when people asked about him. She always replied that 'he came into our lives unexpectedly, much to our joy and happiness', and that was it.
"All right, kaa-san, you go take it easy now. We'll call you as soon as dinner's ready." He eyed her a little suspiciously, but she smiled before retreating into her room. Yuugi made a mental note to call doctor Watanabe and ask him about the tests. He was seriously worried and it didn't sit well with him that the results were inconclusive.
As he went to search for Atemu, Yuugi passed Tzuziko's room. It was strange to not see his eldest daughter at her desk, her head buried in a book. She lived on campus and only came home in the weekends since she'd been accepted into Tokyo Medical and Dental University. Atemu and Yuugi were extremely proud of her; she had passed all the entrance exams and admittance interviews with flying colors. To help her out, they had acquired a single dorm room for her as Tzuziko wasn't really the sharing, social kind of person. Her two best friends, Hamasaki Machiko and Sato Risuka, studied at the same university and their biggest dream was to open a medical practice together, serving different medical disciplines. Yuugi was glad that her friends were just as serious and not engaging in partying and drinking. On the other hand, Tzuziko shied away from social interaction too often. Her studies were very demanding, but also very rewarding; she loved doing research, she loved answering complicated questions and sinking her teeth into tough cases. Yuugi heaved a small sigh. He missed her and her aloof demeanor, always contesting the world and her own existence. The only thing she never contested was her adoption; she had never asked questions about her biological mother or father.
Yuugi moved along, hoping to find Atemu in his study. After the last renovation of the house, they had split the stock room into a bedroom for Kazuo and a study for Atemu. The former Pharaoh wasn't in need of a stock room as he didn't keep any for his antiques store; he imported artifacts and objects on demand. Kazuo didn't mind to move downstairs, that way the other inhabitants of the house were less hindered by his loud death metal music or the noise of his first-person-shooter video games. Atemu's study was a small room, offering just enough space for a desk, a chair and a filing cabinet, where he could do both the business and family administration without being disturbed.
"Mou hitori no boku, I'm home," Yuugi said as he stuck his head around the door.
"Aibou," Atemu greeted him, looking at him over the rim of his reading glasses. "You are early."
"Things went smooth, for once." Domino City's public transport system was very efficient, but crowded. Yuugi had never bothered to learn how to drive, as traffic was even more crowded; it didn't make much of a difference. He kissed Atemu on the cheek. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Kazuo's report card and he reached for it. Atemu put his hand over his.
"Give it some time," he said. Yuugi understood. No need to ruin the mood by a bad report card.
"Do you want me to start dinner?" he asked.
"Would you?" Atemu wasn't very fond of cooking and Yuugi had discovered that after a hard day's work, he could clear his mind perfectly while chopping onions and bell peppers. The task of cooking had slowly but surely shifted towards him and Yuugi found it very relaxing to be busy in the kitchen.
"I would do anything for you," Yuugi said and hugged him tightly.
"I know." Atemu returned the hug, slipping his arms around him. Yuugi always felt so comforted, so safe and secure in the other's arms. Nuzzling Atemu's neck, his eyes darted over the desk again, briefly. A stack of bills was next to the keyboard. It was such a reassuring thought that they were financially well off. Yuugi made a good salary as Head Game Design & Development at KaibaCorp, of which he was even a shareholder: a parting gift from Pegasus J. Crawford just before his Industrial Illusions merged with aforementioned company. After his initial hissy fit, Kaiba hadn't bought him out; on the contrary, he invited Yuugi for board meetings and had asked several times for his advice concerning the gaming market. He was glad that they were able to afford Tzuziko's tuition, as medical school was extremely expensive; it was a fortunate position which made him feel even more grateful.
"How about something easy, like tonkatsu or oyakodon," Yuugi said. "Twenty minutes?"
"I will make sure to be finished by then," Atemu said.
"See you soon," Yuugi winked at him.
After changing out of his formal office suit, Yuugi walked into the kitchen. He was fairly surprised to see Kazuo sit at the kitchen table, next to his younger sister Akina. Usually, the boy, or rather, young man as he was approaching eighteen, went away with his friends after school, returning home only for dinner, if he felt like it. Yuugi greeted them, receiving an enthusiastic 'Hikari Papa!' from Akina and a grumble from Kazuo. Just like Tzuziko, Kazuo used the formal honorific 'otou-sama' for Atemu and the informal 'tou-san' for Yuugi. He sometimes addressed Atemu with his first name, especially when he wanted to provoke. Kazuo, towering over both his fathers, liked to antagonize Atemu. His relationship with Yuugi was less strained, but tension often ran high. Yuugi chalked it up to his son's volatile character, puberty and difficult friends. One of his best friends was Fujimoto Daisuke, who had 'challenged' him into shoplifting. A brash young man who dragged Kazuo down with him, but any bad word about Daisuke made Kazuo angry. Even though Yuugi hadn't received any more phone calls from the police, he was afraid that one day, Kazuo would get so deep in trouble that he would be beyond any help. Despite everything, Yuugi loved him very much and he was sure Atemu loved him as well. He didn't bring up the issue of the bad report card.
"What's for dinner, Hikari Papa?" Akina beamed at the table, as always impeccably dressed. She attended middle school and hated the standard school uniform; as soon as she got home, she immediately changed out of it and chose something different to wear. Her wardrobe was fairly extended and she had a good fashion sense; she refused to wear Tzuziko's hand-me-downs, as she hated the formless, grey or beige garments her older sister usually wore.
"Oyakodon," Yuugi said after inspecting the fridge and taking out the eggs. Akina clapped her hands. Of course she would like a fluffy, mild dish as oyakodon; Kazuo rolled his eyes but he didn't comment. "It'll be ready soon." He set to work and listened to Akina talking about the musical her class was going to perform at the end of the school year. Kazuo had pulled out his smart phone, a cutting edge model that neither Yuugi nor Atemu had paid for, and played a game while listening to music on his headphones.
"Akina-chan, help me with setting the table, please?" Yuugi was nearly done. Akina slid off of her chair and pushed her homework to the side. She took bowls from the kitchen cabinet, along with chopsticks, glasses and the tablecloth. Yuugi helped her to put the large tablecloth on the table and turned around to open the rice cooker.
"I'll get Yami Papa!" Akina bounced out of the kitchen.
"I'll get obaa-san." Kazuo got up from his seat and before Yuugi could comment, he had already left. It endeared him that his abrasive, brusque son had such a soft spot for his grandmother. Yuugi didn't want to exclude Yusuke from dinner, even though she had a hard time eating. Often she would fuss, not recognizing the dish or having difficulties handling her chopsticks. The entire family pitched in to help and to take care of her, which made Yuugi very happy. The thought of sending his mother to a nursing home was simply out of the question. Akina's upbeat chattering announced her and Atemu's arrival, followed by Kazuo and Yusuke. Dinner went smoothly, without any argument or bad words, and Yuugi felt so happy and peaceful that he could almost cry with joy.
He dreamed about nothing in particular that night. Yuugi was often too tired from the workday to even think of dreaming; he just wanted to sleep and rest up for the next day. He rolled onto his other side and subconsciously, he registered that he was alone in the bed. Atemu always wrapped an arm around him or was otherwise so close that Yuugi could either hear him breathe or notice his chest rising and falling. His absence wasn't enough to wake him up; a constant tugging on his shoulder did.
"Aibou… aibou, please wake up."
"Wha…" Yuugi opened his eyes and blinked. The alarm clock showed it was 4 in the morning, and the desk light was on. "What is it?"
"Aibou, it is mother," Atemu said. "Get up. I already called doctor Watanabe."
"Kaa-san..? What?"
"Go see her," Atemu urged him. Yuugi jumped out of his bed. Atemu's voice alarmed him. He quickly grabbed his bathrobe and belted it. In his haste, he tripped over his own feet and would've smacked to the floor if Atemu hadn't caught him. Without thanking him, Yuugi freed himself from his arms and ran downstairs to his mother's bedroom.
"Kaa-san?" he asked, a little bit of fear seeping into his voice. "What's the matter?"
He was relieved to see her lying in bed, seemingly unharmed. Yusuke turned her head towards him, smiling, eyes half-lidded. "Yuugi-kun," she said. "Come here. I'm not feeling well."
He went to sit down on the bed and took her hand into his. So frail, so fragile… "The doctor is on his way, kaa-san."
"The doctor," she repeated and made a dismissive gesture. "We need groceries, Yuugi-kun."
"We can go grocery shopping tomorrow," Yuugi said. He patted her hand.
"You need to eat your vegetables."
"Yes, kaa-san." He tried to hide his growing sense of discomfort. His mother had been disorientated before, but now she seemed completely confused. Her speech was slightly slurred and it took her a while to pronounce the right word. She was smiling though, as if she was having a good time. He didn't understand. A soft rustling of fabric reminded him that Atemu entered the bedroom. He was followed by doctor Watanabe.
"Good evening, Mutou-san," he said.
"Good evening, Watanabe-sama," Yuugi said. He stood up to bow to him. "Thank you for coming at this hour."
The doctor nodded in return. "Please, let me have a look, Mutou-san."
Yuugi stepped to the side to allow the doctor to check up on Yusuke. He searched out Atemu, mirroring the worried look on his face. The former Pharaoh extended his hand to Yuugi who took the opportunity to close the distance between them. Comforted by Atemu's arms around him, Yuugi could hear soft whispering in the background; doctor Watanabe talking to Yusuke. After a couple of minutes, the doctor straightened himself and turned to Yuugi and Atemu.
"Mutou-san, a word with you, please," he said. He looked at Atemu, and Yuugi didn't mind at all that he addressed the other. He wanted to be at his mother's side and he sat down on the bed again, as Atemu and the doctor left the room.
"Kaa-san, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," she said. "Doctors are so silly. Did you finish your homework?"
His heart started to cry. "Yes, kaa-san," he said. His answer satisfied her and she closed her eyes. He brought up the blankets to tuck her in.
"I'm so glad," she said.
"Me too kaa-san, me too." Yuugi didn't know what exactly she was so glad about, but he let it slide. He was worried. She was slipping away from him, what could he do to help her? He wanted his mother to stay at home as long as possible. It was going to take a lot of effort to make her comfortable and at ease in her own, familiar environment. He couldn't burden Atemu with the care of Yusuke on top of what he already did: the household, the children, the store… Yuugi made a mental note to talk to KaibaCorp.'s human resources department in the morning. If only he could work from home or cut back on his hours, so he could keep an eye on his mother… Kaiba wouldn't be too happy, probably, but these were urgent family matters. He wasn't going to send his mother to some kind of nursing home! Yusuke was quiet now, she had fallen asleep.
"Everything will be all right, kaa-san," he said. "I promise you." She had such a lovely smile while she was asleep. Yuugi felt his initial unrest dissipate. What had Atemu been so worried about, even calling doctor Watanabe? Yusuke was resting now, completely at ease. Yuugi turned his head towards the door when Atemu and the doctor returned. He pressed his fingers against his lips.
"Shhh, she's asleep," he said.
Mumbling an apology, doctor Watanabe reached past Yuugi and checked Yusuke for her vital signs. The silence was deafening. The doctor straightened himself again.
"I'm very sorry, Mutou-san," he man said, bowing to him.
"What?" Yuugi didn't understand. "Sorry for what?"
Atemu sat down next to him, careful as to not put too much weight on the bed. "Aibou," he said and wrapped his arms around him. Yuugi answered automatically and returned the hug, still not understanding as he shielded himself subconsciously for the ugly truth.
"What's going on?" he whispered. Atemu moved his hand up in his hair, holding him close.
"I am so sorry, aibou," he said. "She is no longer among us."
"What? What do you mean? I just talked to her!"
"I know. I did not expect it to happen so soon. Just an hour ago, I heard her downstairs, so I went to check it out…"
"That's not possible," Yuugi said. "How?"
"I suspect a hemorrhage," Watanabe said, "a sudden bleeding of the brain. It might've been a tumor…" his voice trailed off when he saw the devastated look on Yuugi's face.
"Yami Papa? Hikari Papa? What's going on?" Muffled voices came from the other side of the door, Akina and Kazuo woken up from the sounds of the doctor's nightly arrival. Atemu briefly touched Yuugi's cheek as silent tears made their way down. He nodded, watching the man he loved so much leaving the room to tell the children that their grandmother had passed away. It didn't take long before Akina started wailing and Kazuo's loud "No! It's not true!" broke his very heart. Yuugi wanted to curl up against Atemu, but he understood that the children needed their father, even Kazuo, in this moment of grief. At least twenty minutes went by before Atemu returned.
"Mutou-san," the doctor said, addressing the former Pharaoh again, not Yuugi. "We need to discuss. I wait outside."
"Where are the children?" Yuugi immediately asked, rubbing at his face.
"In the living room," Atemu said. "They do not want to go back to bed and I am not forcing them to. We should go to the living room too, aibou."
"A-all right," Yuugi said and forced himself to stand up. He looked over his shoulder, at his mother in the bed. Her gentle, peaceful face was the last thing he wanted to remember from her, not the suffering that she had gone through.
Akina hurled herself into Yuugi's arms, crying. "Where's Yami Papa?"
"He'll be here soon," Yuugi patted her on the back. "He has to talk to the doctor, sweetheart." Kazuo sat on the couch, his face a tight, grim mask of sadness and grief. Yuugi motioned at Kazuo to come closer and share his grief, but the boy didn't move. Yuugi didn't want to push him, allowing his son to show his emotions when and how he wanted to. He held onto Akina, the girl bawling her eyes out. He made sure to keep eye contact with Kazuo, gauging his reaction. Yuugi wanted to make sure that Kazuo knew it was okay to cry and show his emotions, but he sat motionless on the couch, like a statue, unwilling to budge. Yuugi fretted just a little. What was taking Atemu so long? He wanted him close, he didn't know what to do without him. At the same time, he felt guilty that he had put all this responsibility on Atemu's shoulders again.
"Obaa-san," Akina cried, soaking Yuugi's bathrobe. He couldn't care less about his bathrobe right now. Akina's sadness was so raw, so overwhelming that it made him cry as well, and he wasn't ashamed about his tears. His mother was dead, she would never wait up for him again, she would never be the first one to welcome him home again. It wasn't fair! He felt lost and alone, and perhaps he was Akina hugging a little too tightly, but she didn't either notice or complain. It seemed to take hours before Atemu returned. He carried a large tray with a steaming teapot and cups. Yuugi looked up at him, teary-eyed.
"Watanabe-sama?" he asked.
"It is all right," Atemu said. "We discussed what had to be discussed. Let us drink some tea. Akina-chan, would you like to pour it?"
Akina slipped out of Yuugi's arms and lifted up the teapot, pouring the hot liquid into the cups. Yuugi accepted the cup and folded his hands around it. Atemu chose a seat next to Yuugi and Akina latched onto him as soon as he sat down. Kazuo hadn't said a word, his face as white as a ghost, a harsh mask. Atemu put his arm around Akina and extended his hand to Yuugi. He took it, once again finding comfort in his presence. Yuugi looked at Kazuo, but the boy looked the other way, turning his head around and staring at the wall. The family sat together like that, without keeping track of time. Akina's sobbing died down. Yuugi used the sleeve of his bathrobe to wipe at his eyes, rubbing his face. He realized that in a few hours, he had to go to work; he had an important meeting today and Akina and Kazuo had school, like any other weekday. Atemu caught the worried look on his face.
"I will take care of it, aibou," he said. "No one is leaving for work or school today. We will say goodbye to kaa-san with all the love and attention she deserves."
"Thank you," Yuugi whispered. The silence was sad, yet comfortable. Akina had tired herself out from all the crying. Without much of a word, Atemu took her back to her bedroom. Yuugi moved closer to Kazuo.
"Maybe you should go to bed too, Kazuo-kun," he suggested, his voice gentle. Kazuo blinked at him, as if he suggested something extremely stupid.
"I don't know," he said and shrugged. "Maybe."
"I'll call your school," Yuugi said. "You don't have to go to class in situations like this."
"I'm not the only one whose mom's dead," he said.
Yuugi didn't correct him. "I understand if you want to be with your friends, Kazuo-kun," he said. "Do what you need to do in your moments of grief, do what feels right to you. Just remember that we'll always be there for you."
"Yeah, yeah." He got up and sauntered off. Alone in the living room, Yuugi cried again. The tears just didn't want to stop. Shivering, he pulled an afghan over his body and adjusted the fabric. Atemu put his hands over his, draping the afghan around his shoulders.
"Mou hitori no boku," Yuugi said, relieved. He hadn't heard him come back into the living room. "Kazuo-kun went to bed."
"I am sure he will be playing Halo for the rest of the night," Atemu said.
"It's how he deals with it, mou hitori no boku."
"I know my son." Atemu sat down next to Yuugi. "And I know the other half of my soul."
Yuugi pointed at the cup on the coffee table. "You haven't drunk your tea. It's cold by now."
"Ah, that is true. I am not really in the mood for tea."
"I can get you new one..?"
"No, that is all right, aibou."
Yuugi slid his legs onto Atemu's lap, huddling into the warmth of the afghan. "What did Watanabe-sama say?" he asked.
"He is not really sure what exactly happened," Atemu said. "With your permission, he wants to perform an autopsy."
"No!" Yuugi lowered his voice, taken aback by his own vehemence. "Nobody is going to cut into my mother's body."
"We might never know what she suffered from if we do not allow the doctor to perform his work," Atemu said.
"I don't care. I don't want it to happen!"
Atemu nodded. "Your wishes will be respected, aibou."
"Thank you…" Yuugi shifted his position so he could lean his head on Atemu's shoulder. The sadness of his mother's passing was so overwhelming that it all but paralyzed him. He had difficulties breathing and tears welled up in his eyes again. Atemu kissed the top of his head, gently stroking his hair. It was a comforting gesture and Yuugi usually adored having his hair petted like this, but the sadness outweighed every movement, every moment, and he cried until he just couldn't any more. Clinging to Atemu, he watched how the early morning light reached the windows of the living room. He tilted his head, eyes red and puffy. Atemu was still awake, though he looked exhausted.
"We should try to get some rest," he suggested, but he didn't sound confident that either one of them would be able to sleep. Yuugi nodded absentmindedly and silent, they both got up from the couch. He walked alongside Atemu, dazed, confused and incapable of keeping his thoughts straight. He felt queasy after passing his mother's bedroom and his grip on Atemu became even tighter. Dutifully, he climbed into bed and waited for Atemu to join him. Yuugi stared at the ceiling and felt relieved when Atemu fell asleep. He didn't like it when Atemu worried about him too much, he didn't want more to the other's grief. The first sounds of morning traffic sounded foreign to him; he heard the cars and buses' engines running, but it didn't stick in his mind. All he could think of was that his mother had passed away and he could barely breathe. He decided to focus on Atemu's breathing instead, listening to his steady pace; it calmed him for a little while, but sleep never came. The alarm clock showed half past six in the morning when Akina crawled into bed between her two fathers, her face pale and fresh with tears.
"Hikari Papa," she said as she reached for him. Yuugi wrapped his arms around her, holding his youngest daughter close.
"Don't wake your Yami Papa," he said, as it was rare for Atemu, an early riser, to sleep in. It had been a strange, broken night and Yuugi wanted Atemu to get all the rest he would need. Akina smothered her voice against his chest.
"I don't want to go to school today," she said.
"No one is going anywhere today," he answered, voice thick.
"Can I stay here with you and Yami Papa?"
"Of course, dear." Yuugi didn't want to leave the bed either. It was a safe world on its own, protecting him from the big bad and sadness that was waiting for him as soon as he would leave this perfect little bubble. He knew he couldn't stay in bed forever and he dreaded the moment he had to actually get up. A small smile tugged at his lips. Even without looking at Atemu, he knew that the former Pharaoh was awake; after so many years together, the slightest change in breathing alerted the other. Akina didn't notice, her hands fisted in Yuugi's pajamas. Nobody said 'good morning'. Yuugi raised his hand so he could touch Atemu's cheek.
"Did we wake you up?"
"Do not worry about it," Atemu said. The dark circles under his eyes gave away that he hadn't slept that well. He heaved a sigh. "I have a lot of phone calls to make."
"Stay a little longer, mou hitori no boku." Yuugi usually avoided his common reference to Atemu in front of the children, as they didn't understand where 'the other me' came from. How could they possibly understand ancient spirits, mystical artifacts and Ceremonial Duels and Gods?
"A little longer, then," Atemu said and closed his eyes as if he was going back to sleep again. Yuugi trailed Atemu's face with his fingers, caressing his warm skin. Gratitude filled his heart, that the man he loved so much was so close to him, that he felt comfortable and at ease in his presence, the love between them overwhelming. For a moment, it looked like Akina had fallen asleep again too, but she stirred as soon as Atemu got up. She remained silent and rested her head on his chest, listening to the sounds of Atemu taking a shower and dressing himself. When he had left the bedroom, the question that Yuugi feared so much rolled from her lips.
"You're not going to die too, Hikari Papa?"
"No, sweetheart, no." He hugged her.
"And Yami Papa? Is he going to die?"
Yuugi shivered, failing to cover up the strong pain wrecking his body. His eyes darted over to the empty spot beside him, and he swallowed. One day… one day their luck would run out, one day that moment would come when they'd have to say goodbye… and this time, there wouldn't be benevolent Gods to give them another chance. Yuugi tilted his head so he could look at Akina. "We're going to stay with you for as long as we can," he said. It seemed to satisfy her, but for a moment she had that same pensive look as Tzuziko, always ready for more questions. Akina however, was content to lay next to her father and mumbling to herself.
Yuugi stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. He hated black clothes and he hated funeral services. The rustling in the background reminded him of Atemu, who finished dressing himself. Yuugi shivered lightly when Atemu put his hands on his shoulders. He turned around, slipping into the other's open arms, fighting to hold back his tears. He didn't want to cry, the funeral service was about to start and he didn't want to appear weak in front of everyone.
"It is all right to cry, aibou," Atemu said. He moved one hand to pet Yuugi's hair, keeping his other arm around Yuugi's waist, so they could hold each other close.
"I don't want to," Yuugi said. "I've shed more than enough tears."
"Aibou… it does not matter how much you cry. No one is blaming you for shedding tears. It is better to let it all out, you know that."
"I can't do this," Yuugi said, but he wasn't talking about crying.
"I will be here all the time, close to you," Atemu said. He tilted his head slightly to kiss him. Yuugi reveled in the kiss, needing the comfort. "But your grief…"
"Later," Atemu said. "You need me now more than ever, aibou." They continued to kiss, not to instigate anything sexual, but to comfort each other in this difficult time, conveying their mutual support and strength.
"Do you have to do this right now?" Atemu and Yuugi turned their heads towards the door, noticing Kazuo, looking grim and sounding annoyed.
"Your father needs our support," Atemu said. "You too, Kazuo. This is a huge loss to our entire family."
"The guests have arrived," Kazuo said sourly. "Don't slobber in front of them, it's embarrassing."
"If I hear another one disrespectful, tasteless comment from you, I am going to ground you for the rest of the year," Atemu said, his voice was sharp and curt. Kazuo opened his mouth to retort, but Yuugi was ahead of him.
"Kazuo-kun… please."
Pursing his lips, he obeyed after glaring at Atemu once more. As soon as Kazuo had left, Yuugi nestled against Atemu, heaving a sigh.
"We should greet our guests, aibou," Atemu said. Yuugi nodded and took a deep breath.
The funeral went by in a blur. Many people offered Yuugi their condolences and he was touched and overwhelmed by all the kind words of consolation and comfort. Tzuziko, having returned from Tokyo to attend the service, watched over Akina. Anzu and her husband Warimi were among the attendees, and Jounouchi and Honda picked up effortlessly on the mechanics of their friendship while at High School: they flanked Yuugi, shielding and protecting him. They allowed people to come up to Yuugi and talk to him, but as soon as they saw he was swamped or feeling uncomfortable, they would quickly yet friendly break up the conversation, allowing Yuugi room to breathe. Honda handed him a cup of tea and Jounouchi gave him something to eat after a while, but he couldn't enjoy the taste. So many people were around, talking about Yusuke and her early passing, and it tore open his wounds and grief every time someone mentioned her name. He tried to hone in on Atemu's voice, not listening to what he was saying or who he was talking to, just the sound of his voice. Atemu wasn't very far away from him, just as he promised; a lot of people came up to him to talk about what happened and offer the family support. Time passed and Yuugi felt a giant headache coming up as he tried to smile bravely, but exhaustedly. Just as he thought he couldn't take it any more, someone put his hand on his shoulder and he couldn't help but smile; he recognized his lover's touch anywhere. Atemu leaned into Yuugi, keeping his voice low.
"Aibou, why do you not go upstairs," he said. "I want you to get some rest. It has been such an intense day for you."
"For you too," Yuugi said, twisting his upper body so he could grab Atemu's hands. The former Pharaoh was careful with showing affection in public, but Yuugi couldn't care less if people were offended by his gesture. Besides, these were his mother's family and friends, they knew about Yuugi being together with Atemu… and his grief outweighed their opinion. "Please, mou hitori no boku. Come with me."
He seemed a little hesitant. Many more guests wanted to express their condolences and he was torn between going upstairs with Yuugi and get some rest, and giving his attention to the attendees. Out of nowhere, Anzu popped up, flanked by her husband.
"You can both retreat," she said. "Let us take of things."
"Anzu, I…" Atemu started, but she shook her head vehemently.
"No, I don't want to hear about it. You need each other right now. Yuugi needs you more than ever. Go upstairs."
"Thank you." Atemu pulled Yuugi up from the sofa. Gratefully, he left the living room, leaving the guests behind, unable to muster up any more strength or energy to deal with them. With Atemu next to him, Yuugi could be himself again, yet the silence grasped him at his throat as soon as they climbed upstairs, to the attic. He broke out in tears. Atemu guided him into the bedroom and gave him a handkerchief, dabbing at his face.
"So many tears, aibou," he said. "I wish I could bear it all for you."
"I wish I could be as strong as you," Yuugi sobbed. "You haven't shed a tear!"
Atemu brushed a golden bang away from his face. "Even though I do not show it, I do grieve."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you didn't care! I should just shut up!"
"It is all right. Let it all out, aibou. I do not want you to keep it all inside."
Yuugi wrapped his arms around Atemu. "What did I do to deserve you? You're so strong, and you're always there for me."
"Tears are not a sign of weakness, aibou." Atemu kissed him on the cheek. "You are the strongest one here, you know that. Now, you are going to get some rest."
"I… I have to go back to work tomorrow," Yuugi suddenly realized.
"You are not able to work in this current state," Atemu said. "You are going to take it easy, and that is final."
Yuugi had no answer to that. He was emotionally drained, completely empty and he didn't protest as Atemu helped him out of his clothes and into his pajamas. His eyes were heavy; the thought of finally getting some sleep was tempting. The last few nights he had barely slept, constantly thinking of his mother and how she was gone. Yuugi slipped under the sheets, waiting for Atemu to join him. Instead of spooning, Yuugi faced Atemu and all but crawled into his arms, craving the contact, shuddering as the emotions overwhelmed him once more. "Kaa-san," he whimpered.
"We all miss her," Atemu said, holding Yuugi close.
"Son of a bitch," Yuugi said.
"I know, aibou."
"Goddamn son of a bitch… he didn't even show up for his wife's funeral!"
Atemu stroked Yuugi's hair, ignoring the other's balled fists against his chest.
"He never calls home. He never shows up. He could be dead too and I wouldn't even know! I don't believe he 'has his reasons'. He's just a selfish son of a bitch!"
Atemu put his hand over Yuugi's fist and gently untangled his strained fingers. "I contacted his employer and they would pass the message along, aibou. I wish he could have been here, but apparently…" His voice trailed off. Yuugi shivered violently and hugged himself so close that he almost choked the other. Atemu shifted his position a little. Yuugi's anger towards his father subsided already, calmed by the presence of the other half of his soul. He listened to Atemu's heartbeat, finding comfort and solace.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault," he whispered. "I haven't seen him for so long, I have even forgotten what he looks like."
"I am sorry that your father is not here for you," Atemu said. "He should have other priorities than his work alone."
"I don't want to talk about him anymore," Yuugi said crudely. "This is about my mother, not him. She's gone, and he didn't bother to give his son a call. I just… I just want to sleep and don't wake up for a couple of months. I want to hibernate."
Atemu kissed him just above his right eye. "I can help you with that, if only a little." He pulled the blankets around them. "Rest now. You have barely had any sleep as of late."
"You haven't slept at all," Yuugi protested.
"Fine, we both have not had much sleep." Another kiss. "We need to save our energy, aibou. It will be tough without your mother, and we need our strength for the difficult times ahead."
"Yes, you're right." Yuugi closed his eyes obediently. He didn't think he would fall asleep anytime soon, but fatigue caught up to him. His sleep was dreamless, yet so deep that nobody dared to wake him up until the next morning.
Kaiba Corp.'s Human Resources Department granted him personal leave without much difficulty. Yuugi didn't know what Atemu had exactly said or done - perhaps he had threatened Kaiba personally with a batsu game - but for whatever reason, Kaiba was much more lenient with him than his other employees anyway. Even if the CEO hadn't been present at Yusuke's wake or funeral, he had send a generous amount of condolence money and a card with a rather personal note. Yuugi wanted to thank Kaiba in person, as soon as he got back to work. Today was Friday and everyone was at home, the majority of the family had gathered in the kitchen. Tzuziko was going to stay for the weekend and would return to university the next Monday. The girl's face was a tight mask like Kazuo's, but compared to her brother, she talked easier and more open about her emotions. Together with Akina, she sat at the large kitchen table, talking about Yusuke. Yuugi encouraged them to keep their memories of their grandmother alive, giving them all the time and space they needed in their grieving process. Kazuo had taken the blow especially hard and he was even harder to reach than usual.
"Obaa-san always made such yummy pancakes," Akina said, crying. Tzuziko handed her the box with tissues, fighting to keep her own tears back. Yuugi held Akina on his lap, knowing that she preferred Atemu over him, but the former Pharaoh was occupied with Yusuke's estate. Yuugi couldn't deal with all the paperwork, confirming his mother's passing over and over again. Tzuziko wanted to know more about Yusuke's medical condition, but she didn't ask in Akina's presence, for which Yuugi was grateful. He had put a few snacks on the table, a bowl with rice crackers and another one with daifuku. Nobody felt like eating. Kazuo sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge.
"Kazuo-kun, would you like to sit with us?" Yuugi asked. The tall boy shrugged but did as he was asked. His movements and attitude gave the impression that he didn't care, but Yuugi knew better. "How are you?"
"I feel like shit," Kazuo said crudely. He ripped the can of soda open and took a few gulps. Yuugi let him be.
"It's going to be difficult for a while," Yuugi said. "As a family, we can share our sadness and grief…"
"Family?" Kazuo snorted. "I don't see a family here."
"Kazuo," Tzuziko said, jerking her head towards Akina. Kazuo pursed his lips.
"She's not a baby anymore," he said. "If you want to spare her feelings so badly, just send the brat away."
"That's enough, Kazuo-kun," Yuugi said. Akina's eyes widened at the word 'brat'. She'd never been called like that by anyone, not even by Kazuo up until now. "We don't call each other names in this household. We treat each other with respect."
"Respect?" Kazuo raised his voice. "With that guy around?"
"Don't talk about your father like that." Yuugi frowned. "Besides, it's not about him. This is about…"
"He's not my father, and you're not my father either," Kazuo interrupted him rudely. "Why should I show the both of you respect?"
Each word pierced his heart like a cold, sharp knife. "Kazuo-kun, we only want to raise you as a responsible, independent person."
"Well, you did a fine job, then," Kazuo said disdainfully. "At least you're cool, you develop and design video games. He's just boring and annoying, with all his rules and regulations and Ancient Egypt shit!"
"Your father's roots lie in Egypt," Yuugi said. "He never enforced it on you, Kazuo-kun. And yes, there has to be someone to lay down the rules in a household, to keep a watchful eye on you all, to get you to school, to get everything done …"
"I don't want him to do that," Kazuo spat. "Anyone but him!"
Yuugi was flabbergasted. Akina had started to talk to herself in that fantasy language of hers, something she always did when tension rose. He petted her just like Atemu would pet him; for some reason, most members of the Mutou family calmed down when their hair was touched and stroked. "Why do you take it all out on him? Why do you bring this up at this moment?"
Kazuo looked at him. "It doesn't matter. I want to live with my mother."
"Your mother?"
"I found her," Kazuo said triumphantly. "Or better yet, Daisuke found her."
"Really? Did you call Ooshimuru?"
Kazuo snorted at the mention of the adoption agency. "They couldn't find their way out of a paper bag," he said. "I called them, but they only had an old address."
"I'm very glad you found her, Kazuo-kun." Yuugi meant every word. A long time ago, he had agreed with Atemu to never keep their adoption a secret to the children. He wanted to support them with love and courage if they wanted to find their biological parents. Yuugi had always thought that Tzukiko, with her unquenchable thirst for knowledge and her incessant search for answers, would be the first to inquire about her biological parents; but as it was, she never had taken any steps to find out. Now she frowned at Kazuo, looking at him over the thick rim of her glasses. "Where did Daisuke-kun find her?"
He shrugged again. "He knows his way around. He told me he had found her in the Tatsuya district."
Yuugi concern grew. The official adoption papers mentioned very little about Kazuo's mother, but their case worker had told them she was a drug addict, unable and incapable to take care of herself, let alone her baby. Yuugi was frankly surprised that the woman was still alive. He didn't like it that Daisuke had found her in the Tatsuya district; a suburb of Domino City where criminality soared high and no one with a decent mind wandered around alone. It was disturbing news to him. He had a feeling that nothing good would come out of this, but he had made the promise with Atemu, to support their children no matter what.
"So…" He hesitated. "You really want to live with her, Kazuo-kun?"
It was infuriating to see how he kept shrugging. "She's got cool friends. They know a lot of stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" Tzuziko asked.
"Just stuff," Kazuo all but snarled.
"Have you visited your mother? Have you seen her?"
"Once. She was at some kind of house. She didn't see me."
Yuugi didn't know what to say. Kazuo had never mentioned that he was searching for his mother. Even though he hadn't made contact yet, the fact that he knew his mother's 'friends' and thought they were 'cool', it all worried Yuugi.
"Just be careful. The Tatsuya district is known for robberies and… pick pocketing," he finished, as he didn't want to say 'drug trafficking' out loud, in front of Akina. Tzuziko caught on of course, but she didn't comment.
"Hikari Papa," Akina said, voice soft, "I don't feel very well."
"I'll take you to your room." Yuugi shifted his position and lifted Akina up. At age thirteen, she was too old and too big to be carried, but Yuugi didn't mind to make an exception. Kazuo had lost all interest and played with his iPhone, the latest model that neither Yuugi nor Atemu had paid for. Tzuziko watched him, an expression of mild irritation on her face. Yuugi took Akina to her bedroom, also worried about her silence. Akina would always talk about dancing or singing or the school play; he wondered if she understood anything about Kazuo's behavior.
"Here we are," he said as he opened the door to her bedroom and put her on the ground. She wrapped her arms firmly around him.
"I'm never going to leave you, Hikari Papa," she said. "I'm never going to leave Yami Papa. Never ever ever!"
"I know, dear," he said, touched by her words. He kissed her on the cheek. "Do you want me to stay with you?"
"I'm going to play with my dolls," she said. Despite liking an audience, Akina had her moments that she wanted to be alone. Yuugi understood this was such a moment and watched her gather her dolls. He waited for her to start playing and amusing herself, before he left and went to search for Atemu. He wanted to talk to him, but he had no idea where the former Pharaoh was in the house. Yuugi located him in their bedroom, folding laundry.
"Mou hitori no boku," he said, "why didn't you ask me to help you out?"
"It is nothing, aibou," Atemu answered, ignoring the impressive height of the pile next to him. "It is better for me to stay busy."
"The great and exalted Pharaoh," Yuugi said without any disdain or sarcasm, "it's not becoming to show your emotions to the people, is it?"
Atemu looked up, smiling softly. "I am not sitting on a throne right now, aibou."
"I know. I don't like it how you're all silent and working so hard. I don't want you to suppress your feelings. It's hard enough as it is."
"You are right." Atemu rested his hands on top of the laundry. "I have to admit, it falls heavy on me. The loss of our mother…" She hadn't been Atemu's mother of course, but he had so little memories of his mother in Ancient Egypt that it was easier to regard Yusuke as his own. Yuugi closed the distance between them and took him in a gentle hug.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you. I just missed you at the kitchen table, with the kids."
"My apologies, aibou. I should be there…"
"I know you longer than anyone else," Yuugi said. "I know you retreat into your own little castle when things get emotional. On the outside, you're solid as a rock, you're in conmand and you do what needs to be done, but on the inside…" he touched Atemu's chest, putting his hand on his heart area, "you're in pain, mou hitori no boku. The emotions are there."
Atemu nodded and heaved a small sigh. "Are the children still in the kitchen?"
"I brought Akina to her room, she wasn't feeling very well."
"Oh?"
"She wanted to play with her dolls," Yuugi said. He looked downtrodden. "Kazuo-kun was… dampening the mood. Did you know that he has found his biological mother?"
Atemu frowned lightly. "He has?"
"Daisuke-kun found her somehow and told him all about it, of course."
"Hm." Atemu wasn't very fond of Daisuke and Yuugi had to admit, he didn't like the boy that much either. It was rare for Yuugi not to like someone and he had searched high and low for redeeming qualities, but Daisuke Fujimoto was too rowdy, too ill-mannered and worse, he dragged Kazuo with him wherever he went. He didn't like his own thoughts, but Yuugi was glad that Kazuo never brought Daisuke home with him, even though he had never forbidden him to bring any of his friends over.
"I'm so afraid," Yuugi said. He knew what Atemu was thinking, but he voiced it out loud. "Kazuo-kun is on a very slippery slope right now. His mother… but mostly her circle of friends is dangerous to him. He thinks they're 'cool', but if he gets to know them, and if he hangs out with them… it'll only take one little push to tilt him over to the wrong side, and towards drugs."
"We made a promise," Atemu said after a moment of silence, "and I will keep myself to it. Kazuo has a right to get to know his biological mother, no matter what. If we forbid him to see her, we will only push him away."
Yuugi agreed. Without another word, he broke up the hug and picked the top garments from the pile of laundry and started folding them. The silence was comfortable; not always words were needed to convey an emotion.
It was past midnight, Friday night. Yuugi had been restless all evening. Kazuo had gone clubbing with friends and Yuugi had the feeling that he was in the Tatsuya district. Why was Kazuo so focused on his biological mother right now? Was it because of Yusuke's death? True, Kazuo had always gravitated more towards his grandmother than his two fathers. When he was around eight years old, he even claimed that Anzu was his mother. He missed a mother so much, from the start of his life up until this very moment. Yuugi didn't condemn or judge the woman for giving up her baby, but he couldn't help but feeling… left out in the cold. He and Atemu had done their best to give the boy a loving home and a better life and future than his mother ever could. He'd always known that this moment would come, the moment that either one of their children would ask about their biological parents. Still, the fact that Kazuo wanted to go live with his mother after all these years with Yuugi and Atemu… Yuugi was conflicted himself, and he didn't like it. He wanted to give his son the best, and his mother and her dubious circle of friends weren't the best for someone as impressible and quick to influence like Kazuo.
"Aibou, you are burning a circle in the rug."
"Huh?" Yuugi blushed in embarrassment. He'd been pacing for so long that he hadn't noticed. "Sorry. I didn't realize…"
"Maybe we should just go to bed." Atemu barely withheld a yawn. "He is almost eighteen, he is only going to stay out much longer."
"Yes, I know." Yuugi wanted to wait up for Kazuo, he was worried. He couldn't hold his son's hand 24/7, not that Kazuo would allow him to. "Maybe we should," he said. Saturdays were always busy days and he didn't want to deny the other his sleep. "In any case, you should go to bed, mou hitori no boku."
Atemu suppressed another yawn and put the book he was reading, to the side. Yuugi was torn between following him and staying up after all, when he heard noises outside: a car halted in front of the building, doors opened, male voices rang out.
"There he is," Yuugi said, relieved. Car doors slammed shut and loud voices penetrated the night, including slurs and denigrating remarks on same-sex parents. Yuugi cringed. Kazuo answered with a row of expletives and told his friends to shut up. After a few more crude exchanges, to which they all bust out laughing, Kazuo said goodbye, his words obviously slurred. He came into the house and as his bedroom was on the ground floor, Yuugi went downstairs to meet him halfway.
"You waited up, huh?" Kazuo said.
"Have you been drinking?" Yuugi asked, shocked.
"Just a few beers." Again with his endless shrugging.
"Kazuo-kun, you're not of drinking age, not for a couple of years," Yuugi said, aghast. He was so upset that he didn't notice Atemu coming to stand next to him.
"I'm going to fucking drink if I want to fucking drink," Kazuo said rudely.
"Kazuo-kun, language…"
"Stop it, just stop it!" Kazuo shook his head. "Do you want to know where I was?"
"I can guess," Atemu said.
Kazuo showed a slow grin. "Yeah, of course you already know, oh intelligent one."
"This is not the right moment to hold this discussion," Atemu said. "Now that you are home, Kazuo, let us all go to bed."
"Don't tell me what to do," Kazuo said.
"I am your father," Atemu gave back. "It is late and you have been drinking. These are not the right circumstances for a deep conversation."
"You're not my father," Kazuo spat. "You never were, and you never will be!"
"Then tell me what you want me to do," Atemu said. "What will it take for you to accept me, to listen to me?"
Kazuo was taken aback by his outright question and seemed to hesitate. "It's who you are," he said. "There are days when I can't even stand to look at you anymore!"
"If that is truly the case," Atemu said, "then I feel sorry for you."
Never in a million years had anyone expected Kazuo to lash out and hit his father. Totally taken by surprise, Atemu wavered when Kazuo slapped him hard, and unable to find his balance, he fell to the floor.
"Mou hitori no boku!" Yuugi cried out. He pulled Atemu's hand away from his face, gasping at the nasty, red handprint on his cheek.
"What's going on here?" Tzuziko came down the stairs, awakened by the noises. She belted her bathrobe as she descended, shooting an angry glare at Kazuo. "What happened to otou-sama?"
"I lost my balance," Atemu said. Yuugi didn't correct him. He hissed when he saw a little trickle of blood close to Atemu's temple.
"I'll get the first-aid kit," Tzuziko said to no one in particular.
"Yeah, you do that, goody-two-shoes sister," Kazuo said. She scrunched up her nose.
"What's wrong with you? You couldn't beat up one of your 'cool' friends, so you take it out on your father instead?"
"He's not my father," Kazuo sneered.
"You sound like a broken record," Tzuziko gave back. "Big, tough badass Kazuo, who can't even hold his liquor!"
"Enough," Yuugi said. "Enough, please." Both Tzuziko and Kazuo had raised their voices; it was a miracle that Akina hadn't woken up yet. Kazuo didn't care, but Tzuziko got the gist and left to retrieve the first-aid kit. When she returned, she walked past Kazuo without paying attention to him and huddled close to Atemu as she opened the kit.
"I am fine," he said. "Just a bump."
"You cut yourself," Tzuziko said, "let me just clean that up for you, otou-sama." She grabbed the disinfectant and a band-aid, looking over her shoulder at Kazuo. "Happy now?"
"I don't give a fuck," he said crudely. "You can play perfect little happy family all you want, I'm done."
"You're an idiot." Tzuziko batted Atemu's hand away and stubbornly continued to treat the small cut. "You're drunk. Go to bed. You don't even know what you're saying anymore."
"Of course you know everything better than me," Kazuo said. "Perfect daughter, with perfect grades and…"
"Shut up Kazuo!" Everyone looked in Yuugi's direction. "Go to your room, right now. Now!"
Impressed, and perhaps a little dazed, Kazuo turned around and left. Once the door to his bedroom was shut, Tzuziko smiled at Yuugi, albeit strained.
"I didn't know you had it in you, tou-san," she said.
Yuugi looked a bit sheepishly, but he didn't regret sending Kazuo away. He hooked an arm under Atemu's. "Help me get him up, Tzuziko-chan."
She was done treating the small cut and she helped Atemu to get back on his feet. She had long since noticed the red handprint on his cheek, but she didn't comment on it. "Let's get you to bed, otou-sama."
"I can walk just fine," Atemu muttered.
"Sure you can," Yuugi shushed him. "I just want to hold you close for now."
They went up to the attic, to their bedroom. Tzuziko pulled the covers away and fluffed up the pillows as Yuugi helped Atemu to undress, ignoring the former Pharaoh's grumping about not needing any help. Within minutes, he shoved Atemu under the covers. His fingers stroked the angry red skin.
"Mou hitori no boku…"
"It is all right," Atemu mumbled.
"No, it's not." Yuugi said. "This should never have happened."
Tzuziko tilted her head. "Otou-sama, you look exhausted."
"It is past midnight," Atemu protested.
"No, it's not that." Yuugi shook his head. "You've been burying yourself in work and you haven't taken one moment of rest."
"He always does that," Tzuziko said. "It's not good. It's better for him to clear his head and take a day off."
"No housework, no store, no nothing," Yuugi said. "Yes, that would be better."
"I am right here," Atemu protested once more.
"I know, dear, hush now, the grown-ups are talking." It was the lamest joke he could think of, but Tzuziko hid a laugh behind her hand.
"It's time for me to get back to bed as well," she said.
"Thank you for your help," Yuugi said as he guided her towards the door.
"It's okay." She dawdled a little. "Tou-san, please don't… don't take what Kazuo said too much to heart. I mean… I know he's going through a tough time and he doesn't deal well with obaa-san's passing. But you and otou-sama do a great job, never doubt that."
Her words touched him. "That means a great deal to us, Tzuziko-chan." In this very intimate moment, he dared to ask her the question he'd always wanted to ask. "Why do you never inquire about your biological parents? Do you never…"
"No, never," she said, determined. "I'm sure they had their reasons to give me up for adoption. I don't know them and I don't see them as my 'parents'. You both are my parents and I never cared if it was a traditional family or not. I never felt that I missed out on anything or on a mother in particular. I have a father who taught me how to read hieroglyphs and who helped me drill math and conjugations until I could recite them backwards in my sleep. A father who gave me books for my birthday and who encouraged me to learn and to grow."
"And what did I do?" Yuugi asked, curiously.
"You taught me how to reach out to others and how to laugh and cry," she said. "I learned from you that people deserve a second chance and that there are always two sides to a story. To look further than just appearance and not to judge a book by its cover. Oh, and you tried to teach me Duel Monsters, but that wasn't really a success."
"You never were the gaming kind of person," Yuugi said. "It's okay. What you're doing with your medical studies, is amazing."
"Go to bed, otou-san." Tzuziko pecked him on the cheek. "Goodnight."
"Good night." Yuugi closed the door behind her and proceeded to undress himself. For a moment, he thought that Atemu had fallen asleep but he noticed that his eyes were following his every move. Yuugi slipped under the covers and curled up to him.
"You're working too hard, mou hitori no boku," he said.
"Says the one who puts in sixty hours a week," Atemu protested.
"Says the one who once ruled an entire nation," Yuugi gave back.
A faint smile tugged at Atemu's lips. "That was easy. I had advisors, a vizier and an entire court of Priests."
"Tell me more about your Priests, my sweet Pharaoh."
"Well, there was Set, of course. And Mahaado, my loyal magician, our black magician… Karim, Aishizu, Shaadah…" His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, sleep claiming him. Yuugi tucked one strand of gray hair behind Atemu's ear and pressed a loving kiss to his forehead.
"More tea?"
Yuugi held his cup high. "Yes, please. It's such a delicious blend!"
"Well, one of the big advantages when you marry the head of a chain of supermarkets is that you get a lot of products to try out," Anzu chuckled. "Warimi wants to test everything himself before he allows the product to be sold."
"I really like this tea," Yuugi said. He felt quite relaxed. He adored spending time with Anzu, valuing his friend's insight and advice very highly. Anzu sipped her tea.
"Delicious," she said. "I think we have a winner."
"How's Warimi-kun doing?"
"Busy as always," Anzu said. "The competition's very strong and customers are fickle. But so far, we haven't any reason to complain."
"And the kids?"
Anzu smiled. "Ishimi's looking forward to start middle school," she said. Her daughter was a year younger than Akina. "Tanaka doesn't do that well in academics, but he's great at sports."
Kazuo had taught the boy, almost eight years his junior, the principles of baseball and basketball, sports he enjoyed the most. "I can't keep up with all the times he has to practice. Warimi thinks he can go to university on a sports scholarship alone, if he continues like this."
Yuugi shivered at the thought of sports. He put his teacup back on the side table and Anzu refilled it, movements elegant and graceful.
"How are you two holding up? It's been barely two weeks."
"It's hard," Yuugi answered truthfully. He could tell Anzu anything, and he wasn't afraid to show his emotions. "Kazuo-kun… he's totally derailing. He's like a monster truck heading for a deep ravine. We even had a fight…" He told her about Kazuo finding his biological mother and her friends and how he had hit Atemu. She shook her head, saddened.
"The poor boy. Poor Pharaoh too, of course. He has always been on the receiving end of Kazuo's aggression. He focuses his anger and rage on the one who he sees as an intruder, not as a parent."
"He's confused," Yuugi said. "He has never accepted well that two men have raised him, and not the 'traditional family' he always brings up when we argue. It's like we're not good enough for him!"
"I think that he's idealizing, romanticizing the thought of a 'traditional family', because he never had it," Anzu said. "Would he really be better off if he had been raised in a family like his friend, what's his name, Daisuke? From what you told me, that boy is unhinged at best, and he has a mother and a father. Kazuo has been at Daisuke's home, he should know better than to think that a traditional family would be perfect."
"He lashed out so violently, he scared me. He's so strong, physically."
"I can imagine. Atemu-san… how is he?"
"Tired. I… I feel so guilty about how much work he does: the household, the store, the children… I often think I don't contribute as much as I should, but… with my mother's death, I just couldn't…"
"You've gone through an awful time, Yuugi. You had to bury your mother."
"I miss her so much."
She took his hand. "We all miss her."
"Mou hitori no boku… he's just so strong," Yuugi sighed. He stared at their entwined hands, his slightly trembling. "He gets up every morning and does what needs to be done, without fail. He takes care of everything, he keeps everything and everyone up and running and I just feel so bad."
"You're doing the best you can," Anzu said soothingly. "You have a fulltime job, you provide for your family. Don't sell yourself short, Yuugi."
"But still…"
"You go to every single one of Akina's plays or performances. You attended all of Tzuziko's graduation ceremonies. You talk to Kazuo's school counselors because you want the best for him. You may not always be there, as in twenty-four hours a day, but that was the commitment you made with Atemu-san. He would stay at home for the kids, and you would go out to work."
"I'm not saying that I'm dissatisfied with our commitment, it's just that… especially the last few weeks, just like when jii-chan passed away, he did everything that needed to be done and I did nothing."
"It's okay to lean on your partner," Anzu said. "Certainly in stressful times like a death in the family. Don't be so hard on yourself. However…"
"However what..?" Yuugi asked.
"I don't like to add to your feelings of guilt, but even Atemu's strength comes to an end. We all know that he does what's best for others, for the people around him, the people he loves and cares for. The household, the children, you; you all are his kingdom, and he'll do whatever it takes to protect it and take care of it… bypassing and forgetting his own needs."
"I know," Yuugi said, voice soft. She patted his hand.
"And with your mother's passing so recently, I doubt you're in the mood for a party."
Yuugi nodded. That was another thing he felt extremely guilty about. He and Atemu were together for almost twenty-five years now, counting from his fifteenth birthday when he finished the Puzzle. Atemu had always said he fell in love with Yuugi the moment he saw him, but Yuugi hadn't been aware of the other's presence until much later, and it had taken him even longer to reciprocate his feelings. Only until after the Ceremonial Duel two years later, when Yuugi was sure Atemu could stay in this life, as a real human being instead of a spirit, he had dared to open his heart and fully love the other, no holding back. Yuugi didn't dispute the date and he didn't mind to count from the moment he'd been fifteen… which would make for their twenty-fifth anniversary this year, and they had discussed throwing a party for all their friends and family. That was back when Yusuke was still alive and nobody had even the smallest inkling of how the situation could change within a matter of mere weeks.
"I'd still love to celebrate," Yuugi said, meekly. "It would be a nice distraction, and you all put in so much effort to help me find a suitable gift…"
"I have a suggestion," Anzu said. "Instead of throwing an all-out party, why don't you and Atemu-san hold a little celebration on your own? You both have been busy with the children, work, the store, for years and years now, and you never went on holiday, to get away from it all. Just the two of you! You're welcome to use our country house in Hokkaido. You can leave the kids with me!"
"Are you sure?" Yuugi asked, sorely tempted. A long weekend in Hokkaido… he wasn't sure if Atemu would agree. Tzuziko could stay on campus for a weekend, and Kazuo and Akina knew Anzu's children.
"I'm very sure," Anzu said. "You don't have to decide right away."
"I'll discuss it at home, but thank you so much for the offer!" Yuugi beamed at her.
"Your tea has gone cold," she chuckled. "Do you want some more?"
"No thank you, I'm completely full," Yuugi said as she had served a wide array of snacks along with the tea. "It's time for me to go home again, Anzu. Thank you so much for listening to me."
"You're always welcome here, Yuugi," she said. "You and Atemu-san and the children, of course. Think about my suggestion and let me know, okay?"
"I would not mind a holiday," Atemu said when Yuugi told him about Anzu's suggestion. "Hokkaido is only a couple of hours away. Should something happen, we can make it back in no time. The children will be happy to stay with Anzu and her husband for a few days."
"Akina gets along great with Ishimi, and Kazuo can play basketball with Tanaka," Yuugi said. He had nestled himself into Atemu's lap, enjoying a moment together while the kids were off to school. Yuugi hadn't returned to work yet, allowing himself a few more days off. "Kazuo is a bit rowdy, but he holds back perfectly when he plays with Tanaka."
"He also can stay with the Fujimoto's, if he wants to."
Yuugi thought back to his conversation with Anzu. "I think he'll prefer Anzu's over the Fujimoto's. For all that he's talking about a traditional family, I don't think Kazuo really likes it much better at his friend's place."
"It is his choice."
Yuugi stroked Atemu's cheek. The redness was gone, there was nothing left to see, but Yuugi had the feeling he could still feel it, that angry red handprint on his love's skin. "We could use a break," he said. "Just the two of us. A few days without work, without obligations… and we leave the children in great care, so we don't have to worry about them. Anzu told me that there's a hot tub in the country house. You and me in a delicious bath… candlelight…"
"Can we go this weekend already?" Atemu winked and Yuugi kissed him.
"We'll have to tell the kids and Anzu, and we have to take care of the household before we can leave…"
"I know, aibou. I was just kidding…"
"I know how much you need some time to relax," Yuugi said. "Why don't you leave the preparations to me? I'll tell the children and arrange with Anzu everything necessary for our stay at the house."
"Very well, I will leave everything to you."
Yuugi kissed him again and again. He hadn't felt this relieved and excited in weeks!
Akina wasn't very happy to hear that her parents were going away for a couple of days, but her mood immediately brightened up when she learned she was going to spend time at the Hitsumono estate. She adored Anzu's daughter Ishimi, they both loved to dance and to perform. Kazuo listened to the news with his standard disinterest, but he chose to stay with Anzu rather than with his best friend Daisuke, exactly as Yuugi had thought. The conversation with his son was curt and distant, much to his dismay. The tension between Atemu and Kazuo, despite no further physical incidents, was palpable and it was impossible to get the communication going. Atemu had tried to make contact with Kazuo, but the boy kept rebuking him until the former Pharaoh relented and decided to leave him alone. It was going to take a lot of time before things would work out between them, and it hurt Yuugi. He knew he couldn't force the relationship between Atemu and Kazuo and he interacted with his son as he always did: with love, care, warmth and interest. He wanted nothing but the best for Kazuo, but he seemed to drift so far, so fast, away from him, undoubtedly because of his latest circle of 'friends'.
Kazuo never mentioned visiting his mother again, but his grades were rapidly slipping. Yuugi could smell booze and cigarette smoke when Kazuo came home, even though he never was as drunk as before. Tzuziko didn't mind staying on campus for a weekend. She was cramming for exams and needed all of her focus to study. She wished the both of them a happy stay at Hokkaido and refused the extra money Yuugi wanted to send her now that she had to take care of meals, laundry and entertainment for a few days extra. "It's not necessary otou-san, just enjoy your stay," she said and Yuugi didn't want to impose. The next phone call was to Anzu, to pick a suitable long weekend, from Thursday evening to Tuesday morning, and then he contacted Human Resources at KaibaCorp. to ask for a few days more, which was no problem. After he was done with his phone calls, Yuugi started packing and debating what he should take with him. The long weekend was coming up fast and Yuugi couldn't wait! In his own suitcase, he put the gift he had bought for Atemu, for their anniversary. He was looking forward to his reaction - and to see the man he loved so much, being relaxed and at ease.
That Thursday afternoon they dropped Kazuo and Akina off at Anzu's estate and said their goodbyes. Akina hugged them both before running off with Ishimi to admire her new dolls and Kazuo took Takana outside, the younger boy was very excited to play with his 'nii-san'. Anzu kissed Yuugi and Atemu and wished them a very happy stay. As they didn't have a driver's license, they had to travel by public transport. Yuugi was used to the crowded train and buses, but it was very stressing to Atemu who felt very uncomfortable. Fortunately, the closer they got to their destiny, the crowd dispersed more and more, until they finally reached the Hitsumono's wonderful country house.
"Oh wow, Anzu showed some pictures of the house, but it's much bigger! Yuugi held the keys and turned them around to unlock the front door.
"Amazing!" Atemu admired the tasteful interior decoration. Anzu had a strong preference for earthy colors like dark brown and burgundy red, and she had added accessories in lighter colors like beige and sun-tan yellow. She didn't like metal, chrome or plastic in her interior; lavish cushions, afghans and carpets were everywhere, creating a homely, warm atmosphere. Yuugi located the master bedroom and brought the suitcases inside.
"Why don't you run the bath, mou hitori no boku?" he asked. "We could use a good soak after hours of traveling."
"Are you sure, aibou?" Atemu asked. "Maybe we should..."
"No, that's all right. I'll unpack and join you soon," Yuugi smiled at him. He watched Atemu's retreating back and hurried to finish his chore. When he was done, he shoved the empty suitcases under the bed and traipsed out of the room, in search for the bathroom. He could hear the sound of bubbling water and he carefully opened the door to peek inside, as he didn't want to startle the other. Anzu hadn't exaggerated about the hot tub; it could easily fit two people. The cabinet next to it was stacked with towels, bath oils and candles. Atemu had taken the liberty to light a few of them before stepping into the bath, adding to the cozy and warm atmosphere. Yuugi made quick work of shedding his own clothes, but before he joined the bath, he took his time to choose one of the scented bath oils and added it to the water: a mixture of chamomile and lavender. He stepped into the bath, enjoying the heat of the water, and he snuggled up against Atemu.
"It would be even more decadent if we were to drink champagne right now," he said.
"I should have thought of bringing some."
"Oh no mister, I know how you react to alcohol."
"I never get drunk from one glass of Chardonnay…"
"I know, I was just teasing, mou hitori no boku." Yuugi kissed him. Every day, every hour, every moment of his life he wanted to be with Atemu. He had never thought any less of the man he loved so much, not even for a second. After so many years together, he just loved him more and more. Yuugi had never regretted his choice to be with his Other Self. He had never looked at anyone but Atemu, and he basked in the mutual love and care he received. Gently caressing Atemu's face, Yuugi continued the kisses, feathery light. Atemu took over the kiss and deepened it, his hands sinking into Yuugi's hair, sifting through the damp strands. Yuugi mimicked his gesture, his fingers now touching Atemu's grey hair, just above his ears.
"This is so much better," he said. "To relax, to have some time to ourselves."
"We were really in need of a break," Atemu said. "After everything that happened..."
"Yeah, those kids of us…"
"They are good kids. They will find their way in life."
"Even if it takes them some time." Yuugi moved his hand over Atemu's ear, sliding lower to trace his jaw line. They were both tired from the day and he didn't want to add an intense discussion about the kids to it. He was silent for a moment as sadness overwhelmed him.
"Kaa-san…"
"I miss her too, aibou."
"I know." Yuugi had no urge to cry, yet he buried his head against Atemu's chest. He continued to stroke his hair.
"These moments of sadness will continue to appear," he said. "Do not be disturbed by them. It is hard to deal with such grief."
"How do you do it?" Yuugi whispered.
"I... do not know," Atemu admitted. "I do not think I deal with it well, though. I notice it is there and I acknowledge it, but I do not act upon it."
"Instead, you focus on everyone around you and all the work you need to do, but you forget about yourself."
"Guilty as charged, I guess."
"Mou hitori no boku..." Yuugi heaved a sigh, but not one in despair. The water, the candles, the scented oil… it was so relaxing, it was perfect. He didn't want the mood to be ruined, however... "The water's getting cold. If we don't want to turn into wrinkly old prunes, we should get out of the bath."
"And get something to eat," Atemu added.
"Anzu told me she had stocked the fridge before our arrival. We should be completely taken care of."
"That is wonderful. I am getting hungry..."
"We've been soaking for hours," Yuugi said, amazed at how time had flown by. "I'm hungry too!"
Atemu plucked a towel from the edge of the tub and handed it over to Yuugi. "Do cover yourself up before dinner, aibou."
"Since when do you have any trouble with me being uncovered?" Yuugi kissed him on the nose. "All right, mister Prude Pants, I'll cover up for you, but you're going to have to feed me naked."
True to Anzu's word, the fridge was filled to the brim and Atemu obeyed Yuugi's 'demand', much to the other's pleasure. He made sure that Atemu ate as well of course, and soon enough, they ended up kissing and touching, focusing on each other both physically and mentally. Yuugi couldn't remember who picked up who first, but he was in the bedroom before he realized it. After so many years together they were completely familiar with each other's body, knowing each other's sensitive spots and how to excite and entice one another. So many kisses, so many words whispered of love and care, and so many sensations… Yuugi clung to Atemu and refused to let him go, kissing and caressing him all over.
"Aibou…"
Yuugi stared into his lover's deep, crimson-red eyes. "We never do call each other by the first name," he sort of grinned. "Have you ever tried calling me 'Yuugi', mou hitori no boku?"
"I do not know how to pronounce that name, it is so strange to me," Atemu said mock-dramatically and kissed him on the nose.
"Nobody calls you by your first name either," Yuugi said, slightly pensive. "After all the trouble we went through to find it, we actually never say it."
"I rather want you not to call me by the first name," Atemu said dryly. "Because when you do, I know I am in a whole lot of trouble."
He couldn't help it, Yuugi chuckled. Atemu was telling the truth, though; during a rare fight or confrontation, Yuugi would call out Atemu by his first name; for the rest, he always used 'mou hitori no boku', unless he was in public or at work; no one else needed to know how he referred to his life partner - they wouldn't understand anyway. Atemu shifted his position, a content look on his face. "My name is a gift," he said, "one you and your friends bestowed upon me, aibou. Without you, I would never know what it was. I never minded to be called Other Yuugi, though."
"Your name is important, my Pharaoh. To me, to your family, to your friends…"
"I am not a Pharaoh any more, aibou."
"Yes you are." Yuugi smiled at him. "You friends, your family, your home… it's all your little kingdom, isn't it? And you are our benign ruler." He was amused to see Atemu's faint blush. He kissed him. "I have something to give to you."
"You already gave me so much, aibou."
"Charmer," Yuugi teased him. "You could recite an entire phone book and I'd still be swooned by the sound of your voice."
"Is that a compliment?" Atemu asked, blinking. Yuugi turned on his side and reached for the upper drawer of his nightstand. He took something out and rolled back to his previous position, all curled up against the other man. Atemu's eyes traveled to the small, rectangular box in Yuugi's hand, curiously.
"Mou hitori no boku, we talked about our anniversary before," Yuugi said. "How we wanted to celebrate it with a big party…"
"We can celebrate any other time you want, aibou," Atemu said.
"I know. It doesn't feel right to me to throw a big party so soon after kaa-san's passing."
"Everyone understands," Atemu said. "There is no need to rush."
"I just wanted to give you something." Yuugi held up the small box. "It's not for our anniversary only. It's also… a token of appreciation, an expression of love… from me, and also from our friends." He gave the box to Atemu, who gracefully accepted it and slowly removed the lid, forcefully holding back to not rip it off. He gasped when he saw what was inside.
"Aibou!"
"We know how much you love jewelry," Yuugi said, enamored by Atemu's bewildered look, totally entranced by the sight of the golden earrings, exact replicas of the ones he wore as a Pharaoh. He took them out of the box, holding them up.
"How…"
"We all pitched in," Yuugi said. "We remembered the design, and I particularly remembered how good they look on you. Try them on, mou hitori no boku."
"They are wonderful," Atemu said. His fingers traced the intricate design and patterns of the large earrings before he clipped them to his earlobes. "How do I look?"
"Like the Pharaoh you are," Yuugi answered. "Not to mention, extremely hot."
"Charmer."
"I speak nothing but the truth."
Atemu touched the earrings again. "This is such a wonderful gift, aibou. And from our friends, too… I will thank them in person as soon as we get back." He pulled Yuugi closer for an intense kiss, but then looked absolutely mortified. "I do not have a gift for you…"
"You silly person," Yuugi nuzzled him, "You are my gift. Now and forever." He brushed past Atemu's ear, admiring the jewelry. Atemu had diligently saved up every yen until he could afford his first two rings: one for himself and one for Yuugi - plaid gold with a ruby and an amethyst entangled with a little twist on top, their names engraved. After that, he had saved up for two rings on each hand, but Yuugi had always known somehow, that he had longed to wear his earrings again, but holding back because the jewelry was expensive, and he favored the needs of his family and friends over his own.
"Thank you, Yuugi," Atemu said. Happy, Yuugi leaned into him for another kiss.
"You're very welcome, Atemu." He pulled the covers on top of them, pulling it close as if he wanted to build a fortress. This moment of total love, trust and happiness was too precious to let go; hugging and kissing, they fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next few days were spend not only in bed or in the lovely bath, but also outside, when they took long walks, enjoying the forests of Hokkaido. They talked a lot, but even in the moments of silence there was no silence at all, only a loving and warm atmosphere, a constant confirmation of their mutual love and trust. Time flew by and Yuugi found himself packing again, this time to go home. He wasn't too upset about it; he wanted to go back to work, Atemu had his store and they both missed the children. It had been an amazing couple of days, they both felt reinvigorated and refreshed all over, almost euphoric.
The euphoria spat like a bubble when they arrived at an empty house. Without Yusuke, waiting to greet him in the hallway as usual, it hit Yuugi so hard that he gasped. Atemu put his suitcase down and turned around, not immediately understanding what was going on.
"Aibou?"
"I.. it's all right." Yuugi's eyes went to the small side table. His mother always put a vase with fresh flowers on it, as she loved ikebana. Yuugi often brought flowers with him on Fridays, when he came home from work; it had turned into a tradition. The side table was empty now, apart from a framed picture of Yusuke and some candles and incense. Atemu understood and closed the distance between them, hugging Yuugi tightly.
"We should've picked up the kids first," Yuugi said, but he knew what Atemu was going to say and that he was right.
"It would not have been any less difficult, aibou. She will always leave an empty spot, no matter how many people are inside the house."
"I know…" he all but mewled. He didn't want to cry. Atemu waited patiently for Yuugi to recover, and he shifted his arms a little when Yuugi turned around to lean his head against his chest. He put his arms around Atemu's waist to return the hug.
"How come you're so goddamn strong?" It wasn't Yuugi's nature to swear, but the emotion ran too high. "How can you stand there all the time and never waver, never fall down?"
"Aibou," Atemu said, "you are the one who is keeping me strong. I am standing here for you, because you need me, and I want to be there for you."
"I want to be there for you too," Yuugi whispered.
"You are." He pressed a kiss on top of Yuugi's head. "You are the one who is always there for me. Do not ever doubt yourself."
"Let's go pick up the kids," Yuugi said after a while, calmed down by Atemu's words.
"I will call Anzu that we are on our way."
Yuugi got used to the daily grind quite quickly again. KaibaCorp. had launched exciting new consoles and games, and with so many projects, Yuugi could easily fill up 24/7 with work, work, work. As it was Friday, he was looking forward to the weekend and he hopped onto the subway. His mind went over the last week, when he had returned from Hokkaido with Atemu. As expected, Akina had enjoyed her time with Anzu's family, sharing a room with Ishimi and staying up late. She had participated in the ballet lessons Anzu taught, while Kazuo had played sports with Tanaka. He had been very polite and happy at the dinner table, Anzu had told Yuugi. He knew why, of course: Anzu, her husband Warimi and her two children were the perfect epitome of Kazuo's idealized 'traditional family', and it broke Yuugi's heart to see Kazuo's grumpy and upset face when he and Atemu had come to picked him up. He had bluntly ignored to greet Atemu, who didn't comment to avoid an argument at Anzu's.
Yuugi heaved a deep sigh when he passed the floral shop where he'd bought his mother flowers every Friday. He had briefly considered continuing the tradition, but he had decided against it. It just wasn't the same and it felt wrong to do so. Yuugi checked his watch. Tzuziko would arrive soon, perfectly on time for dinner. He couldn't help but smile. The whole family would be together again since their short break. He inhaled delicious scents coming from the kitchen as he opened the door to his home. He was certain Atemu was preparing oden; Tzuziko's favorite and an excellent dish for this time of the year. Yuugi hung his coat on the rack and called for his Pharaoh, but it was Akina who yelled a "Hikari Papa, we're in the kitchen!". He went up the stairs and greeted his daughter.
"Hikari Papa!" She rushed to his side to give him a hug. He returned the gesture.
"You're glad it's weekend, Akina-chan?"
"No school tomorrow!" She laughed. Akina wasn't the brightest student; she didn't like languages or math or history, not caring much for education unless it had to do with performing, singing or dancing. She had many friends at school and loved to be with them; every sensei doted on her as she was always upbeat and enthusiastic.
"No school for you and no work for me," Yuugi admitted and went to Atemu, kissing him on the cheek. He stood on his tiptoes to look over Atemu's shoulder despite their minimal difference in height.
"It will be ready when Tzuziko gets home," Atemu said, adding daikon to the dish.
"It looks and smells great," Yuugi said. "I'm going to change in something different, I'll be back soon." He usually wore a simple suit to his work. KaibaCorp. had strict codes of conduct and an even stricter dress code and Yuugi didn't want to defy his employer by wearing something that could be offensive. At home, he loved to wear a pair of loose, comfy pants and a shirt. Yuugi quickly went to the attic. It was silent in the bedroom and he halted for a moment. This was the room he shared with Atemu and his favorite place in the house. He had laughed and cried here, had made love to and had been made love to, he had lived through happiness and sadness, everything. In this room, they had taken the decision to adopt children, here they had dressed themselves to go to a wedding, a picnic party, a funeral… Yuugi went into the adjacent bathroom and splashed cold water onto his face. From the sounds coming from the kitchen, he could hear that Tzuziko had arrived. Kazuo wasn't at home yet, he spend as much time outdoors as possible. He was probably with Daisuke and the rest of his friends, or so Yuugi thought on his way back to the kitchen. The thought had barely crossed his mind or he ran into Kazuo, marching up the stairs, looking like he was ready to kill someone.
"Kazuo-kun, there you are," Yuugi beamed at him. He got a grunt in return, but he wouldn't allow it to ruin his good mood. "Just in time for oden!"
The family sat down. "Our first family dinner since our long weekend away," Yuugi said to no one in particular, feeling content. Kazuo was mashing his food in his bowl, a sign that something was bothering him. Akina chattered about the upcoming performance at her school while Tzuziko listened, interjecting an 'hm' and 'oh?' every now and then. She continued to babble, her voice bright and light, until Atemu gently tapped her on the hand.
"You have to eat," he said, "and other people would like to say something too."
"Sorry, sorry," she said and looked at her bowl, her food had almost gone cold.
Yuugi looked at Tzuziko. "How are things at university?" As the others ate and listened, Tzuziko told about the upcoming exams and how she had spend her weekend on campus, cramming relentlessly. After she was done, a silence fell. Yuugi filled up everyone's bowls again and turned towards Kazuo. Before he could ask him anything, the boy dropped his bomb.
"I joined the army."
"What?" Yuugi dropped his spoon.
"I joined the army." Kazuo repeated without any intonation in his voice.
"You did no such thing," Atemu said, frowning.
"Too bad," Kazuo stuck his chin forward, "whatever you think of me, I'm not a liar."
"Why would you join the army?" Tzuziko said. "Aren't you too young for that?"
"I'm eighteen," Kazuo said.
"Barely," Yuugi said. "Kazuo-kun…"
"I'm eighteen and I can do what I want," Kazuo said. "I want to be in the army, so I enlisted. The basic training starts in two weeks. You can't stop me."
"You have not graduated yet!" Atemu said, astounded. "Just a couple of months and you would have your diploma!"
Kazuo shrugged. "I don't care about school. I want to be in the army."
"But… why? The army isn't like anything in your videogames." Yuugi was flabbergasted, he forgot to eat. Atemu hadn't touched his second bowl of oden and Tzuziko had put her chopsticks next to her bowl. Akina was still eating, albeit slower, and very silently.
"I know that, I'm not stupid," Kazuo sneered.
"But your diploma…" Atemu was still astounded.
"That's all you can think of: education," Kazuo said. "Well, I'm tired of being educated. I want to be in the army!"
"Why didn't you talk to us about it?" Yuugi asked.
"Why should I?"
"Because this is the stupidest thing you've ever done," Tzuziko spoke up. "What were you thinking? Did Daisuke talk you into this?"
Yuugi hadn't even thought about Kazuo's best friend. "Did he, Kazuo-kun?"
"We enlisted together," Kazuo said, almost triumphant. "We're both done with school and our parents. We're going to serve our country and train amidst real men and build up a new life on our own!"
"You're an idiot," Tzuziko said.
"What do you care?" Kazuo raised his voice. "You have everything perfectly planned, so what does it matter to you?"
"You're my brother," Tzuziko said vehemently, "and I don't want you to make such a mistake."
"The army's not a mistake," Kazuo gave back. "You have no right to tell me what to do!"
"And some military guys do?" She sounded appalled. "If you don't want to go to school anymore, find yourself a job, or travel, or help out someone else. Stop thinking about yourself for once and what pain you put your family through!"
"You're not my family," Kazuo all but hissed. A very uncomfortable silence fell. After a moment Atemu stood up from the table and walked out of the kitchen. Yuugi's heart broke.
"Kazuo-kun, we'll always support you, whatever choice you make," he said, avoiding Tzuziko's furious glare. He heard the strain in his own voice, but his words were genuine. He would support Kazuo even if his choice was to join the army. "I just wish you would've talked to us about it."
Kazuo shrugged, but it didn't infuriate Yuugi anymore. He felt… defeated. Dinner was ruined. Everyone had stopped eating. Akina had lowered her head and stared into her half-full bowl. Yuugi didn't know what to do. Every fiber in his body screamed at him to be with Atemu, yet he felt like he still had something to say to Kazuo, but he simply couldn't find the words.
"Otou-san, Akina and I will take care of the dishes," Tzuziko said, excluding Kazuo. She didn't expect him to help out with household chores anyway. "Go find otou-sama, he's really upset."
"I know. Thank you, Tzuziko-chan." Yuugi got up from his chair and turned to leave the kitchen. He stopped to look at Kazuo, who stared at the wall, his face scrunched up with suppressed anger and frustration. He felt like he was disappointing his son badly…but he had no idea what to say to him, so he walked up the stairs, to the attic.
"Mou hitori no boku?" The door was open and usually he wouldn't hesitate to walk in, but something withheld him. Yuugi peeked around the doorpost and noticed Atemu sitting on the bed, hunching a little over, shoulders slumped. Yuugi closed the distance between them and sat down next to him.
"I'm so sorry, mou hitori no boku," Yuugi said. "I didn't foresee this happening either."
"I do not know what to do anymore," Atemu said. "He is my son. I love him. I have done everything I could do, but I have done it all wrong."
"No, you haven't." Yuugi put his hand over Atemu's. "Please don't blame yourself. It's not easy for Kazuo-kun, it's not easy for us, but this is the choice he made."
"A choice that he probably made under pressure from his best friend," Atemu said. "I… when he told about the army, I thought at first that it would not be such a bad place. The army will teach him discipline, obedience and structure. He thinks the army is 'fun to play with weapons' and being with 'real men' because two men loving each other is nothing but wrong and reprehensible in his eyes."
"He has always missed a mother in his life. That's why he was so fond of his grandmother, that's why he once claimed Anzu was his mother."
"I can understand that, really." Atemu sighed. "I am not blaming him, I am not condemning him. I can even live with the fact that he does not like me as a father… but what I find difficult to live with, what I feel like I have failed to teach him…"
"Yes, mou hitori no boku?"
"There is nothing wrong with us, aibou," Atemu said, vehemently. "There is nothing wrong with the love we have for each other. I tried to teach him that love is no different between two men, two women, a man and a woman… but he always kept denouncing us, rebuking us. I do not mind what bad things he thinks of me, but to constantly reject the love I have for him, the love I have for you…"
"I know," Yuugi said. "I'm so sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I don't know what else to say. I wanted to say something to Kazuo-kun earlier, but words failed me, like they fail me now. I just don't know what to say."
"We cannot stop him, he is right about that." Atemu shifted his position a little so he could lean his head on Yuugi's shoulder. Yuugi moved his other arm around him.
"We should let him go," Yuugi said. "Maybe he'll come home again after he finishes his training. He can always go back to school or find a job. Jounouchi-kun said that he was very handy with his hands, so he can always help him out in his car repair shop. We allowed Tzuziko to live on campus and take the study she wanted, we should at least allow Kazuo to follow his choice too."
"Tzuziko is on a supervised campus with her two best friends, studying for a good choice of career. She never made such extreme choices!"
"I know. The military isn't to be ashamed of, and there are educational options."
"He does this to provoke us," Atemu objected.
"I think he does this because he doesn't know what else to do," Yuugi said. "Kazuo-kun is very, very unhappy at the moment, and he'll continue to be a challenge for us, that's true."
"I am sorry, I did not mean to…"
"You don't love him any less for whatever he chooses to be. Soldier, chef, scientist, CEO… as long as he has our love and our support, I'm sure he'll find his way in life, even if it takes him longer." Yuugi referred to the conversation they had while in the bath at the country house, not long ago. Atemu nodded, yet heaved another sigh.
"Mou hitori no boku..." Yuugi held him close. He had rarely seen him upset before and he tried his best to comfort him. "Tzuziko-chan and Akina-chan are taking care of the dishes. I'm sure that Kazuo-kun's off to his friends… would you like to go downstairs, to the living room? We can watch some TV and I'll bring you some coffee and who knows, some Chardonnay later…"
"Are you trying to bribe me with alcohol?"
Yuugi smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "I'm sorry, mou hitori no boku. You always know the right words to say. I can't say anything but 'I love you'."
"That is more than enough. Do not ever stop saying it." Atemu squeezed his hand. They remained seated on the bed, sharing the comfortable silence. For a moment, Yuugi thought that Atemu had fallen asleep against him, but he suddenly moved and put his other hand over Yuugi's. They enjoyed each other's presence, taking comfort in the words that weren't spoken and the touches and the embrace that came so natural to them.
"Otou-san? Otou-sama?" Tzuziko's voice came from down below. "Everything all right?"
"We're fine," Yuugi said. "We'll be down shortly!"
"I'll make coffee!" Tzuziko hollered back.
Yuugi pressed a kiss to Atemu's forehead. "If you don't want to, or if you'd like to go to bed early, just go," he said. "Nobody will hold it against you."
"No, I am fine." Atemu straightened himself and winced slightly at the crick in his neck. "Let us go downstairs."
Yuugi nodded and got up as well. He walked behind Atemu as they went downstairs. It reminded him of his younger years, when he would always picture himself behind Atemu and the former Pharaoh far ahead of him. Had he not managed to catch up with him, had he not managed to grow and become stronger so he could walk next to him, not even after all these years together? No, it wasn't like that. Atemu was strong, yes, but he also had build up strong walls around him. Yuugi didn't always know how to bring them down. Atemu would never be quick to show his tears or grief, but this incident with Kazuo had disappointed, frustrated and scared him. How could he help him? What more would the future bring, and what for influence would it be for the rest of the family?
"Aibou, are you daydreaming?" Atemu was halfway down the stairs and looked up at him, the large golden earrings shifting with every movement. Jerked out of his thoughts, Yuugi grinned sheepishly.
"Yes, yes, I was." No need to tell a lie.
Without another word, Atemu reached for him and Yuugi thundered down the stairs to take his hand. It would be a waste of time and energy to wonder what the future would bring. Whatever it was, they would face it together, side by side. Two halves of the same soul, they would love each other forever.